Until we find ourselves empty
by Wintry Leen
Summary: Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. SasuSaku and hints of other canon pairings. #18
1. Prologue

**Prompt:** Monster [for SS month 2014]

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto in any way possible.

**A/N (07/17/14):** I AM STILL NOT OVER CHAPTER 685. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

**Edit (11/03/14):** Now a multi-chapter fic.

I've had apprehensions putting this up because I realized that my writing style isn't developed enough to accommodate a full-fledged fiction/story. I usually go for a poetry-slash-nonfiction style (do read my oneshots) since it'll be easier for me then to play with words. But I've always wanted to start a project that I would be proud of someday, so here I am, starting. Please be my guide. Throw me reviews and help me grow as a writer. I know that Naruto's ending (and it breaks my heart), but **SASUSAKU IS IMMORTAL**.

THIS CHAPTER (USED TO BE ONESHOT) WILL NOW SERVE AS THE PROLOGUE. I EMPLOYED A DIFFERENT STYLE ON THIS ONE HENCE DIFFERENT TENSE. THE SUBSEQUENT CHAPTERS WILL BE MORE FLESHED OUT AND DETAILED, MORE FICTION-LIKE, IF YOU MAY ADD.

**Latest Edit (09/07/16):** Summary lines from Sara Bareilles' "Gravity" - the theme song of the fic

* * *

_**Until we find ourselves empty**_

He is a monster. He does not believe, does not love – believes he does not deserve love. So when she keeps coming around, he cannot help thinking that she must pay for trying. Love will never fill his lonely existence.

Then along the process, he also pays.

_**i.**_

"Stay with me."

She stops scanning his body for injuries and almost falls on her knees when she hears him loud and clear.

"What do you mean stay?"

"You always stick around then go; it's becoming unbearable. It's tolerable if you just stay and never go away."

Sakura cannot discern if he is being serious about it or not and if the intention and feelings are real. But she does believe. She does love.

"Are you asking me to – "

"Yes, you're moving in with me."

He abruptly leaves after that and few hours later she finds him standing in her doorway, asking her to pack her things up as quick as possible.

_**ii.**_

"Let's do it."

She flips over to turn to him and when she sees him half-naked and staring at her intently, she scrambles immediately out of the bed they share, dragging her blanket to attempt to cover her still fully clothed body.

"Do…it?"

He remains stoic.

"Yes. Isn't that normal and expected anyway?"

He also gets to his feet and slowly starts approaching Sakura.

She backs away. "Wa…wait, Sasuke. We're not married!"

"When I asked you to move in, that didn't mean we were something. What's the difference?"

"So what are we then? What am I to you?"

Because despite believing, she realizes she still wants answers.

He pays her no heed because she is nothing to him. He thinks she will yield anyway, so he lunges at her, pushes her against the wall, and roughly covers her lips with his.

She wants to push him away because she cannot sense the warmth, but she pulls him in instead; she will provide what is missing.

_**iii.**_

"I'm pregnant."

She finally declares one night after their making love (at least to her). She has lost her resolve of saying this many times before. But she is a doctor herself, and ignoring what she knows is impossible. After taking tests and confirming the truth, she finally lets it out.

She expects him to react, but his back just continues to face her.

After a few more minutes, Sakura pleads.

"Please say something."

He does not know what to say. He fucks her. That should not have caused a fruit. He does not want a connection. He just fucking fucks her. It is not something he does out of love. He does not want to.

"I don't know how that happened, but you won't listen to me even when I say, abort it, right?"

She does not want to cry, but she finds herself pulling up her blanket to help her silence her sobs.

"What…do you want me to do?"

She starts to hate herself for always expecting for answers.

He cannot take this any longer. He is the monster, and she is the victim. It is not designed to be the other way around. She cannot cause him to feel anything.

"Leave now and run away with the baby."

Maybe she still believes, and she still loves. So she chooses to smile despite the tears.

"You asked me to stay, right? Then I will."

She turns over in her side of the bed and closes her eyes until the tears stop leaking.

Sasuke recognizes this miscalculation, and he is not about to let it affect him. He does not feel anything for her because he is a monster. All he desires is to make her pay for trying, for staying still when she has had the chance to escape.

_**iv**_.

"Where have you been?"

She finally asks, seeing that he comes home late every night for the past few weeks.

"None of your business."

He brushes past her, and there is never a friction. He drops down on the sofa and starts taking off his necktie and polo. Sakura sees them – those revolting marks on the skin of his neck and collarbone.

She does not want to believe it but when she walks closer to him, she inhales another scent.

"You were…hanging out with someone."

She tries to phrase it as gently as possible while trying to subdue unchecked emotions. She does not want this emotional imbalance to harm her baby.

"And so?"

She breaks.

"Tell me you were just hanging out!"

He cocks an eyebrow at her.

"It's my choice if I decide to do more."

He stands up, heading for the room they share.

She steels her resolve for her baby.

"If it's just for fun, then…then it's okay."

He never looks back at her.

"I fuck them the way I fuck you. I call that fun."

Sakura gets the pillow from the sofa and flings it toward him with an imperfect intention to hit him.

"What the hell did I do to deserve this, Sasuke!"

She is sobbing, and she does not care. She puts her hands on her hair, biting her lip to regain emotional stability for her baby.

"You love me. You fuckin' love a monster, Sakura."

She stops crying and looks at Sasuke who is now looking back at her.

"I never had a beautiful past. I was too fucked up but you kept chasing me. I thought I'd play with you to make you leave. But you fuckin' stayed, Sakura, even when I gave you the chance to leave, you fuckin' stayed."

His voice drops to a strained whisper at the last segment of his sentence, and he recognizes that she is affecting him.

"I wanted to be your heroine, Sasuke. I've always wanted to save you and heal you and fix you. I thought about leaving countless times but whenever I see the coldness in your eyes and feel cold in your arms, the more I want to stay. I want to give you warmth before I leave and maybe receive some in return."

"But I'm a monster."

She smiles at him despite the lack of mirth in the gesture. She resigns; she cannot believe anymore.

"Yes. You're a monster, the one that I'll allow to keep haunting me forever because I love you."

It is not supposed to be news to him, but he still finds himself taken aback when he hears it directly from her. It is as if he does not know all along that she still does.

"But I'm carrying this child now and I'll love and protect it no matter. So you can try to hurt me every time but I won't leave because I want my child to grow up with a father. I'm long past believing that you can love me, Sasuke, but at least try giving to this child what you can't give to me."

She wipes her tears for the last time and walks past him to the room they share.

It is Sasuke's turn to face Sakura's back that night.

_**v.**_

"Here. Fruits."

When he offers her a basket of fruits, Sakura has no option but to look at him, with her eyes slightly swollen from last night's shattering episode. It may be an illusion, but she cannot mistake the hint of worry crossing Sasuke's face.

She raises an eyebrow.

"Because you're pregnant."

She stares at him unmoving, trying to figure him out. He has never done that before. She has gotten used to taking care of herself because in reality, he is never with her in the mornings, and they have never shared anything except for the room and the bed.

"You don't have to do this."

"I want to learn."

Sakura just raises her brow even more.

"How to love. Teach a monster how to love. How do you do it?"

He does not know where he is going with this, but if she still decides to stay even after all that he has done, then it is useless to keep pushing her away.

She laughs dryly because she realizes she is so tired of playing his game.

"Stop calling yourself a monster."

She walks past him and puts her plates in the sink.

"I'll do the washing later."

She makes her way towards the exit.

"I'll pick you up later."

She sighs resignedly.

"Don't bother, Sasuke. I'm used to going home alone."

"It's for the child." _And maybe…you._

She cannot help but smile despite the flick of pain. She is happy that he is starting to fulfill what she has requested him to do, but she aches because she wishes that he could have also done that for her.

"Okay. I'm out by 8."

She turns the knob.

"Sakura."

"Yes?"

"I'll also pick you up tomorrow and the day after that and…"

She nods.

"Thank you… and if it's about what happened last night, I'll forget about it so you don't have to beat yourself up over it. I'm staying. It's the best for the child."

"Our child."

She does not want to linger on it, so she smiles faintly and finally steps outside.

He does not know what he is doing, but he will try to learn how to love. Besides, he believes it will not be too hard. She is Sakura after all, and she fills his lonely existence with her love.

**…**

(you may now proceed to the second chapter. thanks.)


	2. Ambiguities

**A/N:** Not sure if this is AU or what. Maybe it is but not completely because the characters' attributes are pretty much still aligned with what's in the canon. But okay whatever.

Not sure how long this story will be, but I already have three chapters down. I just need to outline and structure the rest of the details and then revise, revise, revise.

I find beauty in brutality, so murder me with your thoughts?

* * *

"You're pregnant."

Sakura had been stabbing her slice of strawberry cake with her fork none too gently to detract herself from the matter at hand when the woman seated across her finally spoke, inducing her to look up. She knew it was not posed as a question, but she gave the woman her attention as a silent confirmation.

Any customer in that cafe would not even have to speculate about whether the two women were blood-related. No one would be hard-pressed to point out the striking similarity between them: that uniquely yet naturally hued hair which never failed to command attention from any passing stranger.

Her mother eyed her, daring her to explain and hopefully refute whatever she had just said, but Sakura just looked down back to her plate.

"And unmarried."

The woman now leaned back into her chair, folding her arms against her chest, trying to silence the oncoming wrath that she was not to unleash upon her daughter...and unborn grandchild.

She still did not get any response from Sakura, however, which just made the task of containing her anger even harder.

"Sakura, you can't – "

"Please don't question me on something you yourself had done before."

Sakura finally broke her silence because she hated that she could not even obtain any ounce of her mother's support when it was as glaring as the sun that history just repeated itself. Her statement had silenced her mother for a while, so she took this as a cue to continue.

"Weren't you unmarried when you had me? Weren't you also the one who kept chasing the one you loved and got abandoned in return? Weren't you as stupid as I am now? Weren't you – "

"Stop!" her mother choked, and Sakura resumed playing with her cake.

It pained Mebuki to see her own daughter going down the same path she had taken. It hurt that she was not able to do anything to prevent this, to protect her daughter from all the pain she would never deserve. But then again, she knew it was her fault anyway. She never explained things to Sakura because she could not let her know the truth and see her hurt. She never wanted to look pitiful in front of her daughter's eyes. This was the sole reason why she had decided to drown herself in her work.

* * *

_After giving birth to Sakura, she worked hard to finish her degree and successfully got into law school. She needed to pass her responsibility as a mother on to her own parents despite herself. Her parents never understood how she could have done what she did, but they were always forgiving, and so instead of disowning her, they also took their grandchild in. _

_Mebuki had detached herself from Sakura because she could not stand little Sakura always asking for her father. It also hurt that Sakura was a painful reminder of her stupidity. But that did not mean she did not love her daughter. Every time she went home at night, she would always make sure to go to Sakura's bedroom to check up on her. In her sleep, Mebuki would drop a kiss on her forehead or run her fingers through her hair. She had endowed her with every material thing that all the other girls would have been jealous of. She knew that these would not suffice to substitute for the physical warmth that her embrace could provide, but she still hoped that leaving Sakura with all these possessions would satisfy her daughter for the time being._

_She never really entertained any real conversation with her daughter because she just could not. She did not want her daughter to see her broken. Sakura did not need to know about her stupidity. Things were irreversible and indelible, but she wanted to remain strong for her daughter, for the both of them, so she could only put up a cold facade._

_But then her parents who were looked up to by Sakura finally reached the end of their journey, so she understood when Sakura, in her grief, finally started to demand answers from her. _

"_I never understand why you always have to be so distant, but I need to know where my father is!"_

"_You don't need to know."_

"_But you never love me! Grandpa and grandma were always there for me but now they too are also gone! My father – he could provide the love you could never – "_

"_HE NEVER LOVED US. HE LEFT ME WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOU. HE LEFT US!"_

_She did not plan to tell her daughter everything in such a manner – too sharp and wounding. But Sakura had run away before she could even tell her that she regretted nothing. _

_When Sakura returned few days after, Mebuki was too overjoyed she just wanted to pull her daughter into a mother's embrace, but it was clear to her that she had pushed her daughter too far away. She could only apologize profusely while crying silently._

_Sakura then asked for independence, reasoning that she wanted to find and start anew for herself. Mebuki feared this because creating any more gap between them was the last thing she could allow to do that time. But she loved her daughter, and that was the only way she could show her that...giving her freedom to decide for her own happiness._

* * *

After seconds of subduing her emotions, Mebuki staved off the painful recollection and reminded herself of her daughter's circumstance and what she, as her mother, should do.

"Leave him, Sakura. I'll support you and my grandchild."

Sakura noted the genuine concern etched across her mother's face, but she did not want to run away again from the problem. She ran away when she could not handle the truth about her father and her fragmented family. But now she swore she would face her own reality.

"I'll be fine. I have a stable job. I'll be able to take care of myself and the baby."

Mebuki's brows knitted in confusion as to her daughter's decision.

"Then why are you still staying with that man who can't even take responsibility for – "

"I promised myself I would someday have a complete family. I don't want my child to grow without a father. I want to shower my baby with all the love he or she deserves."

Sakura could not help smiling while envisioning her child smiling back at her and feeling the wholeness of the love she would always be ready to give. Mebuki only sighed because she realized that Sakura was indeed her daughter and would be as stubborn as she that arguing with her would be completely pointless. Besides, her daughter would be a mother soon, and she might as well invalidate herself as a mother if she were to insist that Sakura's decision was foolish.

"If you say so, Sakura," she started getting up, "I have some duties to take care of abroad but call me if ever you need me."

Sakura looked up at her, offering a smile.

"I'm a doctor. I can handle this."

Mebuki just laughed amicably. She walked over to Sakura and gently placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder, smiling down to her.

"Sakura, honey, you might be an expert at dealing with kids, but you can never go wrong with someone who's been a mother for 23 years."

It was the first time that Sakura heard that term of endearment, and she felt at ease. She knew that they never had a good relationship in the past, but Mebuki was still her mother, and she would always long for her love and support.

Mebuki was already steps away from her when she turned to answer, "Thank you...mom."

It was just a meek whisper, but Mebuki felt like she was a mother for the first time.

...

Sakura lingered a bit longer in the cafe minutes after her mother had left. She was contemplating about her resolution to create a complete, if not perfect, family. She questioned herself about the possibility of it becoming a part of her reality with the way things had been going. It used to be so easy for her nine months ago when Sasuke asked her to live with him. Even when things started to go downhill from there, she still had the courage to love him through every mistake he had intentionally committed. Then she finally broke and realized she could not be a human doll forever. She needed to be stronger than that. She had started another chapter of her life when she decided to keep the life she was carrying within her even when Sasuke gave her the option not to. That would be her joy and defense against every blunt and injurious edges of her dysfunctional relationship with Sasuke.

She knew that Sasuke was trying, but somehow she had learned how to stop caring. Sometimes, she wondered if trying to salvage their relationship as two people who had the shared responsibility of raising a child was still worth fighting for because she could always just be content with Sasuke promising that he would love their child despite not loving her.

She then idly stared out the cafe window but immediately snapped out of her reverie. A familiar car was parked outside. She finished her cake and took one last sip of her mango frappe, and she was out. She walked towards the car rather slowly, thinking about what to say and asking herself if she should even explain to him. But before she could even reach a concrete decision, the subject of her musing finally stepped out of the car to meet her.

"I thought you would still be having your shift by this time," Sasuke remarked casually although his tone was defined as if making a point.

After promising Sakura that he would love their child despite their relationship, he had been persistently holding up his end of the bargain. He initially demanded that he pick her up from her shift every day, but a week into the routine, and he found himself not minding to also drive her to the hospital every morning. Sakura had argued with him on this countless times, but he paid her no heed. He would do things the way he wanted it. What he did not take into consideration, however, was that he had already lost his power over Sakura when he intentionally messed her up and put her through hell, so he did not have the right to demand her to abide by his ways.

"I was able to get out early...I had to meet up with someone."

Sakura looked away as she explained. Sasuke did not know anything about her family or her mother, and she was not about to disclose the information simply because she did not want him to think that she needed fixing as well when she was the one so intent on fixing him that she still chose to stay despite everything he had done.

She did not notice it, but Sasuke found himself narrowing his eyes at her answer. He was not used to Sakura talking about being with someone else. He was spoiled into thinking that her life revolved only around him.

"Who is it?" he visibly frowned.

She then faced him, shrugging the matter off just to send him the idea that it was not as important as he was implying it to be.

"Someone you don't know. Anyway, you didn't have to wait and look for me," and she walked sedately past him towards the car.

He involuntarily clenched his fists.

"I told you I'd try," he gritted, frustrated that whenever they talked, they always ended up arguing.

She stopped just before getting inside the car to end this argument. She was honestly not in the mood and in perfect shape to entertain his mood swings.

"I know...How did you even know I was here? What...did you put a tracker on me?" she forced out a laugh.

The Uchiha was not about to let her know that he had half a mind to drive around the city just to look for her. But the cafe was just a few blocks away from the hospital, and his eyes had been trained to single out her pink hair that it did not take much to spot her.

He also started his way back to the car and answered her before getting in.

"I don't need a tracker to find you."

It hit a nerve in Sakura, and as she listlessly climbed inside, his answer was still resounding in her head. _Of course_, she thought, _it's not like she'd go anywhere where Sasuke wouldn't be able to find her. She's just...always there._

...

The way back to their house was a silent drive. Not that it was any different from previous occasions, however. Sakura had specifically told Sasuke that it was okay being picked up from her work but that driving her to the hospital was going too far. She insisted that she was not some disabled, needy person who had to rely so much on him. But the truth of the matter was, aside from her personal value of upholding her feminine independence, she just wanted to spare herself from spending too much time with him. If it was any day before their fallout, she would be forever thankful for the blessed opportunity that came her way, but right now, she just could not find any meaning to maintaining physical distance as often as possible when she told him herself that she would stay whatever happened. She suggested getting a personal driver, but Sasuke was totally averse to the idea, saying that she should not be trusting people so easily, as if warning her not to make the same mistake as when she trusted him. So against her will, she needed to stick with this routine for about a month now.

Their new place was way farther from the hospital. Evidently, Sakura also decided against Sasuke's proposition of buying a new house instead of staying in his apartment. He reasoned that they would need a bigger space if they were to raise a child.

"_I want our child to live as comfortably as possible," he said while contacting some people for the housing arrangements._

_Whenever Sasuke would refer to her child as 'their' child, Sakura could not help wondering if that actually meant anything for him. Forbidden questions would begin flooding her mind: Will they stay together even after she gives birth? Will that mean them becoming a family? But what if he suddenly finds someone else he wants to marry? What if she falls in love with – no she did not think this possible._

Sasuke noted her silence because it was suffocation coming from Sakura. They never really had lively conversations before but usually, Sakura would ask how his day had been, and he would exchange words with her lazily. He pretended not to mind her efforts of engaging him in a conversation, but he actually found himself expecting it every time she drove her to and picked her up from her work. She used to be enthused over everything, chattering and keeping up her droll humor while she served him dinner or while they lay together in bed at night. But then he broke her so much that seeing her real smile was now just a luxury that no amount of money could ever afford. He wanted to believe that it was merely exhaustion on Sakura's part, her struggle of adapting to the changes taking place in her body, but somehow he knew that Sakura would still be Sakura if she was not broken.

Sakura leaned against the window of the car staring blankly outside, mulling over the conversation she had had with her mother.

"_...why are you still staying...?"_

Sure, she wanted her child to have a father, but she knew fully well that that did not mean they had to actually stay together. They could always live separately, and Sasuke could always visit _their_ child whenever he wanted to. She knew that Sasuke could only care for the child. He said it so. But then she went on justifying her reason for staying by believing that since Sasuke cared so much for the child, he must not want her to live away from him with their child lest making things more difficult for him.

Sasuke also said that he wanted her to teach him how to love. She never understood what he meant by that, and she never dared to ask. He was so intent on pushing her away before, and it had taken her a great deal of pain before she could accept that. So what could have caused the change? If he thought she needed his pity, then clearly he needed to think again. She had been so weak against him for so long, and she planned on stopping. She tried to reassess herself yet again, asking herself over and over what had made her love him in the first place. He was heartless, he never cared, he was –

"Sakura."

Sasuke's voice cut into her reverie, and she automatically pulled away from the window to face him.

He threw a glance at her when he felt her stirred, and he almost reached out to caress away those signs of exhaustion marring her features. The urge to ask her "What's wrong?" was unbearable, but he reminded himself that asking that was pointless because he of all people had intimate knowledge of everything that was wrong. So he brought up a topic related to their child instead, knowing that Sakura was always fond of talking about it.

"How was the checkup?" _How are you? _ He had to catch himself.

She shifted in her seat to make herself more comfortable. She started caressing her pregnant belly, wearing a warm smile, and Sasuke could only wish she would smile more often like before.

"Tsunade-shishou said the baby's maturing rapidly. She said I must be ready for unusual cravings and advised me not to overexert myself at work – "

"Are you not supposed to take a leave from your work?"

'"I could..." she trailed off _but that would mean staying in our house and being with you for prolonged hours which is completely unnecessary._

"I could...but I have patients waiting for me. I can't just leave my responsibility to anybody else," she added with finality. Tsunade had advised her to step down from being a surgeon for a while because the stress would be too much to handle for her. She acquiesced but insisted that she would not be able to give up her duties as a pediatrician.

"You should. It might harm the baby." He refocused staring back at the road ahead.

She felt slighted. "I'll make sure I won't overstress myself for the baby if that's what you're worried about. I'm sorry I'm not a CEO like you who can always skip work whenever you –"

"You know nothing." And the car skidded to a halt.

"You never told me anything," she bit back.

She was aware that she might have crossed the line and automatically felt bad about it. She knew what had happened to his parents through the media, but that was all about it. Sasuke and his parents were rushed to the hospital that night of the attack, but his parents did not make it while he was fatally wounded. Being the only surgeon around that time, she took it upon herself to attend to him as quickly as possible and perform the necessary operation on him. She had been the one looking after him ever since. But things always go wrong when the healer falls for the broken, and she had experienced it firsthand.

There was a lengthy silence that followed until Sasuke decided that the matter was not worth discussing at the moment and started revving up the engine again.

It would always be hard for him to open up to anyone especially because he had sworn off people ever since the tragedy with his family. He could not afford loving and then losing someone again. But he would be lying if he were to say that Sakura did not change him. He still could not reconcile his feelings for her, but he knew that he could not go on living in despair forever especially now that a child was on the way.

Sakura had successfully embedded some cracks in the wall he had put up. It took him long before he could admit it to himself, but when the realization hit him, he subtly informed her about it by asking her to teach him how to love, how to open up again. He did mean it, and he was trying. But it did not help that Sakura had distanced herself from him since a month ago, and it also did not help that he was not doing anything about it.

...

When they reached their handsome two-storey house, Sakura was the first one who got out of the car without sparing Sasuke a glance. She immediately reached for her keys inside her bag and stalked off to unlock their gate, and then the door. She briskly went up the flight of stairs to get to her room. After their fallout a month ago, she deemed it crucial that she and Sasuke have separate rooms.

She settled and secured herself inside her room, trying to calm her nerves down. She sat at the edge of her bed, frustrated at everything, at how she had known all along that staying with Sasuke was a lost cause – and yet she was still there, unmoving. She was about to call Ino, her best friend, just to let off some steam when she heard a soft knock on her door. She did not want to face him right now and start another row with him, so she thought of pretending to have fallen asleep as an excuse for not opening the door. Few more knocks, and she talked herself out of it. She realized that she would be a mother soon and she needed to act like it – someone who would not run away and would face the problems bravely. She then padded across her room to open the door.

There was Sasuke holding out a basket of fruits. He had no idea that he would upset her so much. He was never good at conversing and expressing his self anyway. So he sought to appease her by offering her fruits, which he knew from general knowledge, were healthy and desirable for pregnant women.

He then looked into her eyes, silently coaxing her to accept what he had to offer.

"Fruits."

To justify his choice for giving those, he then directed his gaze at her growing belly.

"For the baby."

Sakura wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Only Sasuke could make a nice mess of her.

She quickly reached for the basket and was about to retreat hastily into her room when Sasuke leaned his arm against the door, preventing her from shutting it on him.

"Have you had your dinner?"

Since the incident a month ago, Sakura had been so avoidant she had stopped sharing meals with him. She used to cook for him every chance she got whether he would eat with her or not, but that was when she was still as whole as she could be. She would sometimes still cook for the two of them every morning, but she saw it now as conditional, just a way of repaying his uncalled-for and sudden kindness.

She always made sure that she would have eaten – grabbing something to eat from some eatery nearby or from the hospital's cafeteria – by the time Sasuke picked her up at eight in the evening. Even on the drive home, neither of them ever spoke about having dinner together. Sakura was still unaccustomed to not showing any concern towards Sasuke, but she was learning.

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly.

What she had was not really dinner because a slice of cake would not substitute for a hearty meal, but she was not ready to take him up on whatever he was insinuating.

Sasuke automatically put his arm down and moved his hands inside his pockets, acting as if her reply did not bother him the least bit. He was not expecting this kind of answer from her, but he understood that the woman standing paces from him was no longer the old Sakura who used to cook for him and ask him every time if he had eaten already or not. He refused to feel affected. He composed himself, knowing that it would just take him some getting used to.

But just before he let this go, he breathed a sigh and continued.

"We can always," he shrugged, "talk whenever you want." He then moved away to proceed to his own room.

A lone tear escaped Sakura's eye, and she hastily wiped it away before finally closing her door. She realized that yes, Sasuke was heartless, he never cared – a monster – but he would always affect her despite her resistance because it was in his ambiguities that she cared for him the most.

**...**

_**Tbc**_

(can we just pretend that yes sakura has the capability to be a pediatrician and surgeon at the same time coz after all she's the strongest medic-nin in konoha? Haha.)


	3. Again

**A/n: **Update because I want to let you know I'm alive (despite acads) so quality isn't on a par with the previous one. I also get distracted by Tumblr and the writing prompts I've been getting from my classes which then usually make me think about writing oneshots instead of continuing with my draft for this and editing.

**DMHG**, yes I do think 699/700 are a bit rushed! You can PM me about it!

**Matthew Uchiha**, thank you for sharing your opinions with me about 699/700. I'll be responding to it soon!

Reviews are greatly appreciated. I'm accepting both violent reactions and friendly suggestions because I feel like I'm not doing well enough.

* * *

Sakura breathed a deep sigh before pushing the door open and walking into Yamanaka's flower shop.

Before she could even throw a look at the counter, her best friend was already there, practically squeezing her into a hug that Sakura had to instinctively remind her that she was carrying a child.

"I'm so sorry," Ino released her and gave an apologetic smile, "but I haven't seen you for so long!"

Sakura made her way towards the reception area and flopped down on the couch, making herself comfortable.

"It's been only a week, Pig," she giggled as she reached for some magazines resting on the coffee table and started flipping through the pages.

She did not know what she came here for, but Ino was her best friend, and she would always be the best go-to person whenever Sakura needed solace. Besides, it was not like there was anyone else she could turn to.

A flower came into her view, and she looked up at Ino smiling warmly at her.

"It's carnation. It's what husbands usually get for their pregnant wives. Its sweet scent will calm you."

Sakura took the red flower and held it close to her nose. Ino was never wrong.

"Thank you."

Ino slumped down beside her, casting her a radiant look.

"Of course, I belong here, Forehead," she quipped as she looked around the room with a profound sense of satisfaction.

Sakura laughed, "I know."

Ino was also a medical student like Sakura. But two years before graduation, she realized that what she really wanted to do was to take care of flowers, not of people, so she had to quit from med school. Ino had been Sakura's best friend since Sakura decided to live apart from her mother. Ino was just a roommate before, but she had fulfilled a role beyond that. She was the one who was there to provide Sakura with her needs during the times she did not want to ask for financial assistance from her mother. Since Ino's parents were also abroad, Ino was used to living by herself. She was a great help to Sakura who was trying to learn how to live on her own. Ino lectured her on budgeting, ordering her priorities, and staying strong when everything seemed to be unbearable.

Ino was also the first one to know about her getting into a twisted relationship. Ino had cautioned her against it, and even when Sakura did not listen, Ino remained as a shoulder to cry on. She was also the first one to know about the baby, and she could not be any happier about it. She did not mind the circumstances Sakura was in because seeing that Sakura was still happy was enough for her to feel the same, too.

Ino was like a precious flower to Sakura, so Sakura would always be in full support of her for the path that she had chosen.

Sakura was absentmindedly stroking the surface of flower when Ino posed the dreaded question.

"What made you come here, Sakura, aside from missing me?"

Sakura faced her and automatically sensed that her best friend would not drop the subject unless she offered something. But Sakura still tried shrugging it off.

She laid down the flower on her lap and began perusing through the magazine again.

"Nothing. I just want to unwind."

Ino only became more wary.

"But have you informed Sasuke about this? He's decided to be your personal driver, right?"

Sakura just rolled her eyes, "I don't have his number, and he doesn't have mine. And he's not my personal driver."

Ino stood up from the couch dramatically and placed her hands on her hips.

"But it's almost been nine months since you two got together!"

Sakura just raised a brow at her.

"You know we never got together, Ino-Pig. Things just happened. Besides, it's pointless. We don't talk much. And he seems to always know where I am anyway..."

Sakura stopped busying herself with the magazine and nestled against the couch instead. It was that kind of feeling again.

Ino did not seem to notice though as she continued attacking her with questions.

"Then how did you get here? I thought Sasuke banned you from driving your car or something? Don't tell me you walked five kilometers to get here!"

If Sakura was a bit more okay, she would spend all her energy on engaging her best friend and keeping up with her humor.

"Silly. He didn't ban me. He just insisted on doing the driver-job thing and I realized I had no more use for my car. It's also to save gas you know. I would've walked if it was not so tiring but one of my colleagues dropped me off here."

"So you're in a hurry then?" Ino stood up, peering outside of the shop to see if there was a parked car.

"No, no. I told him he didn't have to wait for me. So we can hang out for a bit," Sakura picked up the flower and inhaled its scent again to calm her down, also hoping it would neutralize her dizziness a bit.

Ino turned around to look at her, wearing a knowing look.

"It's a guy then, Saku-chan? Tell me about it," she suggested with a childish humor.

"It's not like that. We're just colleagues, friends," she countered, trying to wave off the topic.

"C'mon, Saku!"

"Don't push it, Ino," she said with a finality on her tone.

Ino decided to drop the issue because the warning against upsetting a pregnant woman was something she had to recognize and heed. Not to mention that she knew how delicate of an issue this was to her best friend.

She then segued her way into talking about Sakura's baby, knowing it would ease Sakura up a bit.

"So is the baby male or female? We can start drafting names, Saku! Of course I want to give my godchild a cute name!" she sat beside Sakura again, clasping her hands together, excitement overflowing from those baby blue eyes.

"Well, I'm having a checkup with Tsunade-shishou next month and I'll know it by then. You'll be the first one I'll call when I get informed about it," Sakura winked at her.

"Of course best friend over the father!" Ino said, folding her arms across her chest and sitting up straight, posing with pride.

Then they started laughing, and this somehow relieved Sakura from both her physical and emotional distress.

Suddenly, Ino stood up, "Oh!"

She went over to the flower section and started to clean up stray stems and petals.

"I'm supposed to be closing at 8 but since you're here I'll be a responsible friend and drive you over to your house now. Wait. Let me just finish some things."

Sakura stood up as well and walked over to her, eradicating any last hint of hesitation.

"I—Ino, you don't have to drive me back as early as now. It's just 7! Let's go while away our time somewhere. Shopping?"

"Are you sure? Aren't you exhausted? And what about Sasuke?"

Sakura painted a reassuring smile.

"No. I told you I just want to unwind. It'll make me feel less exhausted. And don't worry about him. It won't kill him," she finished with a casual beat of a laugh.

Ino did not want to linger on it and decided to yield to her demand. Sakura helped her clean up and minutes later, they were out of the shop, driving their way to the mall. They chattered and engaged themselves in light-hearted conversations just like the old days – fashion, juicy rumors about their college classmates, latest happenings in Ino's life, and of course Sakura's daily life. But Sakura deviated the conversation from her life as much as she could, only offering anecdotes about her encounters with different patients and the unusual cravings she would have sometimes. She indulged Ino in talking more about her new romantic venture with a guy whom she had met once in a bar. Sakura was feeling all giddy like a teenager again when it struck her that she no longer had the same degree of freedom as she had had before. In fact, going to mall spontaneously was not even legal in her situation.

But she was not about to regret the life she had chosen.

**...**

Sasuke, as usual, made sure to leave the office at five o' clock to arrive at the hospital by seven. Despite being the CEO of Uchiha Inc., he was not really attached to his work and most of the time just let his partners handle the work although one was also the slacker type while his adviser was more into reading his favorite magazine than actually checking through the company's legal documents. Sasuke's work was limited to signing documents and occasionally calling for a board meeting even though it was usually his adviser who would do the talking. Sasuke thought the people would understand him or at least they should. They should know that he never wanted any of that. He never wanted to be the sole inheritor of their company. He never wanted to gain something when he had just lost everything.

Sasuke had been waiting for almost an hour outside the hospital. Time was part of the arrangement of course, and Sakura told him she would usually be out by seven. There were a few times in which Sakura had to go out and inform him about sudden extension of her shifts because she had to monitor the condition of a patient. He would just nod and wait until she got out hours later. Then there was a time when she told him that she would not be able to go home at all, reasoning that her patient needed her and that she would not be able to sleep knowing that the child was in so much pain. She asked him to just go home, saying that she could snatch a few minutes of sleep in her office anyway and so there was nothing to worry about the baby. He did not give her a reply and just let her walked back inside the hospital.

Sasuke would never understand the enormous concern that Sakura had for her patients. He knew that she was a pediatrician and that it was part of her job description to take care of her patients – but should it be to that extent? Besides, Sakura was pregnant, and he could not help worrying. So instead of driving home that night, he still waited outside the hospital while Sakura was busy taking care of her patient. Sasuke would glance every once in a while towards the exit of the hospital to check if there was any possibility of Sakura going home. He never saw her leave the building though, and the morning after, Sakura was just surprised that he had actually gotten there so early. He did not say a thing and just drove her home, straining his eyes to not give up on him.

But it had almost been an hour, and there was no Sakura in sight, so he decided to get out of his car and enter the building. As he was walking down the hospital corridors, it was not hard for him to feel how every nurse's attention was suddenly glued to him. He did not like the feeling of receiving sticky looks, and despite the nurse in the counter giving him exactly that, he still approached her to inquire about Sakura's whereabouts.

"I'm looking for Sakura."

"Ha—haruno –san?"

He was about to show a face of displeasure when someone chimed in from behind.

"She's not here anymore."

Sasuke turned around to see a man with a mop of red hair and dark linings around his eyes. Sasuke instinctively quirked an eyebrow at the sudden intrusion.

The man just slightly pulled up the corner of his lips and continued, "I dropped her off at Yamanaka's flower shop. I think her best friend owns it."

Sasuke would have said something or at least asked him who on earth he was, but he would rather reserve his voice for Sakura's ears. He took brisk steps back to his car, trying to make sense of the sudden burst of an unfamiliar emotion. He started the car and had his tires screeching because of the speed. He did not like the idea that Sakura was not there, that she did not tell him anything about it, and that someone else knew about it. He now realized the importance of knowing her phone number. It was not so much an issue before because he was always assured that Sakura would never leave without saying goodbye. But she just did, and it pissed him off.

He knew the flower shop because he usually passed by it on his way to work, but he never knew that the owner was Sakura's best friend. Heck, he did not even know Sakura had a best friend. He got to the flower shop in no time and ran to the door only to find that the signboard reading "Close" had been flipped over for visibility. But he still pounded on the door, impatient for someone to answer. When it had become clear that there would not be anyone to open the door and tell him where the fuck was Sakura, he went back inside his car but not before kicking his front tire in frustration.

He drove straight home, hoping against hope that Sakura was there, waiting just like always.

**...**

Sakura could say that she finally was able to breathe more steadily now that she had spent considerable time with her best friend. Living with Sasuke had required her – it was not even a requirement back then because it was pure willingness on her part – to stay with him as much as possible except when she had to attend to on-call duties. She had turned down invitations from her best friend and maintained connection only through sporadic calls. When she found out that she was pregnant and finally admitted to herself that she was entrapped in a loveless relationship, she took comfort in drowning herself in work, shutting everything and everyone out. She refused to see Ino because she did not know what kind of face she should be showing to her best friend when she just ended up exactly the same as her mother did.

Until one day, a month ago, Ino just barged into her office, and before she could even speak, Ino was in tears, hugging her. Sakura finally broke, releasing all the pent-up frustration and bottled pain she had been carrying inside. Since then, Sakura had found it easier to open up to Ino about Sasuke and their cold dynamics even though she still could not disclose the full details simply because it was hard for her to articulate her experience without breaking down and putting her baby at risk.

Ino demanded that they check the baby section of the department store so that Sakura could start buying clothes for her baby. Ino dragged her along, but Sakura just quickly dismissed her idea with a laugh, saying that she would not know if it would be a girl or a boy until the checkup with Tsunade so the whole should-I-buy-this-or-not process would have to wait.

Besides, as much as she loved her best friend, she thought it more appropriate if Sasuke would also be with her, but then she quickly discounted the thought because she knew that Sasuke was always busy – whether at work or somewhere else that she could not fathom thinking about. But as she ran her fingers through the baby apparel in display, her mind betrayed her and started generating versions of a future in which she would be not only with her child but also with the father.

They then proceeded to buy new dresses and pairs of shoes – Sakura still had to be a fashionable mom, Ino argued. Ino was the one who did the real shopping while Sakura merely walked around with her, nodding and shaking her head at the choice of clothing or shoes. Sakura was never really into fashion except when she had to attend some formal event for medical practitioners which required dolling up. But under normal circumstances, she would be fine with a loose-fitting dress which would always be later on partly covered by her medical coat.

Ino finally got tired of walking around and thinking about different fashion configurations. She brought Sakura to a pastry shop where Sakura gobbled down slices of strawberry cake while getting Ino to prattle on about her newfound love interest.

"So when are you introducing him to me, hmm?" Sakura began as she stirred her caramel frappe with the straw.

"I'll make sure to introduce him to you – oh, but we haven't even had our first date yet! Wait, why don't we have a double date then?" Ino wiggled her brow at Sakura.

Before she could even be aware of her thoughts translating into words, Sakura had already opened her mouth.

"Sasuke will never – "

Ino playfully slapped Sakura's other hand which was rested on the table.

"Who says it has to be Sasuke?"

Ino never had a contact with Sasuke. She knew him through media reports, but that was it. If she were to be honest, without Sakura's stories, she would have admired and worshipped him for his gorgeousness. But now she just hated his guts, the way he treated and hurt Sakura. Of course, Sakura never really badmouthed him. What had only been relayed to her in summary was that Sasuke had had a bad past which he would not open up about, that he invited Sakura to move in with him until Sakura had foolishly fallen for him, and how despite his deliberate mistakes, Sakura still chose to stay because of the baby and of the promise made by Sasuke that he would care at least for the baby, if not for her. Ino had not talked to him, so she would keep judging that he did not deserve her best friend until she saw for herself that she had been wrong.

Sakura paused from her actions and mentally berated herself for even bringing up such impossibility. She then leaned back into her chair, suddenly wary.

"I don't think I like what you're suggesting, Pig."

"C'mon, Forehead, don't even call it a date! It's just a friendly get-together, how's that? Invite that guy who brought you to the shop. What's his name again?"

"I told you. He's just another doctor in the hospital. Colleagues," Sakura sighed, unsettled by where this conversation was headed.

"Saku, it won't hurt to open up your heart a bit, okay?"

"But I'll be a mother soon! I can't bear to be irresponsible..." Sakura avoided her gaze.

Ino folded her arms.

"Yes, but you're not married. Sasuke can always provide for the child. That way you can still have your complete family. You don't have to kill yourself by staying in a hopeless relationship, Sakura. Someone else out there deserves you and your love. And who knows? Someday, that Sasuke might also find someone else whom—"

"Whom he will love and marry and have children with," Sakura looked back at her, "I know, Ino. It's always in my mind. It's just that I've promised to stay. I don't want to run away from that promise and until I find a strong reason to break that promise, I am staying."

Ino just raised her brow at Sakura, completely confused by her logic.

"Is it really the promise or is it because despite everything, you still – "

"Maybe. I don't know, Ino. Right now, I'm just...content with whatever arrangement we have. I just need to learn how to not care about whatever he's doing with his life and I'll survive," she sighed resignedly before touching her lips to the straw of her frappe, looking at anything but Ino.

Ino reached for her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Okay, I won't force you, Saku," she looked at her watch, "Oh, it's getting late! We should probably get going. Want to take out more sweets?"

Sakura laughed.

"Is that your way of sympathizing?"

Ino just rolled her eyes at her.

"No, it's a token of admiration, Forehead."

**...**

It was almost eleven o'clock when they reached Sakura's house, and Sakura did not know what to feel about having found his car parked in the garage. Perhaps disappointment that he did not even bother to drive around the city to "frantically" look for her or perhaps ease because it meant he did not care at all and so she could also stop caring just to establish a mutual relationship.

She threw Ino a quick hug before getting out of the car only to find Sasuke now standing by the doorstep with a blank look directed at her. She turned to Ino one last time and waved her goodbye.

But Ino rolled down her window and asked, "Wait, Saku, want me to explain to him?"

"You don't need to. Take care on your way home. Call me tomorrow, okay, and thank you so much for today," she gave a reassuring smile.

With a reluctant nod, Ino finally drove away.

Sakura put on her coat and put her hands inside the pockets as she tried to casually pass him.

"Where have you been?" Sasuke began before she could completely move past him.

Sakura did not spare her a look.

"Let's just talk inside. It's getting cold."

**...**

Once inside, Sakura rested upon the sofa and started rubbing her temples while Sasuke decided to stand a few steps beside her, thinking if he should begin by asking what's wrong or just wait for her to say it herself.

She let out a sigh before looking up at him.

"I'm sorry. I got off work early and I just wanted to breathe... I had no means of telling you..." she trailed off before looking away again.

There were beats of silence until Sasuke finally decided to sit beside her, also heaving a sigh.

"You don't have to avoid me. It's no use."

Sakura was startled by his statement that she had to whip her head and look at him again. But upon realizing how close they actually were, she stood up and started pacing around the room so that she would not have to look at him.

"I'm not avoiding you, Sasuke. I just...want to stop caring. I realize I can't always be emotional when I'm here carrying a child. "

"So you're running away."

She turned to him again, and for a moment, they only stared at each other, wondering what the other was thinking and wishing everything would not have to be this hard.

"I could've done that months ago but I never did. You know I never did," she gave a weak smile before turning around again.

Sasuke decided to approach her. He knew he had hurt her a lot. He knew that Sakura's choice of action was justifiable considering their history, but he had promised her he would do something about it. He did not know why he suddenly cared so much about making their relationship work but perhaps it was because he wanted to atone for the mistakes he had done. He at least wanted to redeem himself by making sure that the child would live a relatively easier and definitely a happier life and that he would not be ruining another's life yet again.

"I was serious when I asked you to teach me."

Sakura tensed up when she felt him standing directly behind her, and it did not help that what he had just said triggered undesirable emotions inside her.

She started rubbing her arms to calm herself down, hoping Sasuke would not notice her shaking.

"I've given everything I could ever give, Sasuke. You can't possibly expect anything more from me."

The crack in her voice was unmistakable, and Sasuke had the sudden urge to touch her. But then he knew he did not have the right to. The implications of that gesture would be more than what they could both handle at their current situation especially since he himself did not even have a clear reason why he wanted to touch her in the first place. Maybe pity.

Having obtained no response from him, Sakura continued, "I am so tired, Sasuke, so tired."

This time no matter how much she had sworn off crying, the emotional exhaustion was just too much for her to contain that she attempted to escape into her room. But Sasuke had already taken hold of her arm, willing her to look at him.

And she did.

"Let's start anew, "he stared into her eyes and slowly brought up his hand to her cheek until he was able to wipe away the tears before they fell.

Sasuke did not know why he still ended up touching her, but he realized he could get used to it.

**...**

_**Tbc**_

(update in two/three weeks)


	4. Step by step

**a/n:** I deeply apologize for the late update. Tbh, the past few months had been cruel to me and I just decided to give up writing. It's killing me, you know. It's my primary trigger but I realized (after three months of inactivity) that I wouldn't live without it as well so here. I also thank naruto gaiden for helping me get back on track.

P.S. I don't care about that DNA test. Sakura is Sarada's mom.

* * *

_Step by step_

Sakura almost flinched away from the feel of his palm against her cheek. It had been months since she had felt the feel of his skin against hers – mechanical, metal cold. She wanted to take advantage of this rare moment, wanted to lean into his touch, to close her eyes and relish the moment, but she had worked so hard to put up her walls around him, a last-ditch effort for self-preservation, so she decided to break off the contact before it could muddle her up again.

"Why...why with me?" she asked, turning away. "You could always start anew, Sasuke...with or without me."

Her words pierced the still air around them, and Sasuke felt the sharpness of the implication of what she was saying. Words rested heavy on his tongue, but he couldn't summon them – not now, not when her back was turned on him – so he said the only thing he was sure of.

"I don't know."

Sakura then breathed out a slow sigh. She knew they were both uncertain of things, and she would understand if Sasuke would like to try playing the hit-and-miss game. She'd join him. After all, there was nothing much to lose now – the damage had long been done.

She was wearing a thin smile when she faced him again. "Okay."

Suddenly, she felt her vision sway, the bile in her throat pushing its way up, as she carelessly fumbled around her for something to lean against. Before Sasuke could even ask what was wrong, she had already raced across the room, blasting open the bathroom door, and seconds later, Sasuke could hear a muffled, gagging noise.

Sasuke hastily followed her into the bathroom, and he saw her kneeling over the bowl, heaving as she reached for the flush.

Sakura felt cold beads of sweat trickling down her skin. Her stomach was knotting itself into twists, and she just wanted to slump against the wall. She felt another wave of nausea as she tried to flush and clean up the contents of her stomach now littered over the inside of the bowl.

But she heard the sound of the water being drained, and she struggled to look up to see Sasuke's figure looming above her. She instinctively wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and chin, removing any trace of bile. She then felt Sasuke kneel beside her, and she bit her quivering lip, hiding her wretched face away from his.

"I'm so sorry you had to see this," she croaked.

Sasuke surprised her by tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. She felt the light brush of his knuckles, and she just felt more embarrassed of the state he found her in.

"I'll help you stand," he said in a swift monotone as he started to encircle his arm around her waist while draping her arm over his shoulder. But Sakura shook her head firmly.

"No, it's okay. Go ahead and get some sleep."

She drew her figure away from him and heaved herself up. She really didn't want to think too much about his gestures.

Sasuke stood up as well, putting his hands inside his pockets. He wasn't blind to Sakura's resistance, but he thought she couldn't be blind to his friendly advances as well.

"You can clean up. I'll be waiting for you outside."

Sakura shook her head again. "I'm fine, Sasuke."

He cluck his tongue. "Sleep in my room, Sakura."

She wheeled around to face him, her brows shot up in confusion.

"Why? What for?"

"So I can attend to you," he shrugged.

Despite herself, Sakura found herself laughing, throwing her head back in amusement.

"You really don't need to. I've been dealing with this by myself for almost a month now," she said as she proceeded to wash her hands before splashing water over her face.

Sasuke frowned at her answer because to be honest, he knew what he had done and had not, and she didn't have to rub it in.

When Sakura was finally done washing up her face, she looked in the mirror only to see Sasuke leaning against the doorway, his arms folded against his chest.

"Nothing will happen – if that's what you're worrying about. Besides," his eyes bore into hers, "We're starting anew, Sakura." The last words were a mere whisper, but there was no mistaking about the edge in his tone, and she just knew she was fighting a losing battle.

She then crinkled a small smile at him and gave him a nod.

"I'll be following soon."

...

Already clad in her sleepwear – a lace trim maternity robe** – **she opened the door to his room. The room was dimly lit with the curtains pulled tartly across the window as if the moonlight had not graced the room with its presence ever since they transferred into this new house. With the bedside lamp being the only source of incandescent light, she could only make out the outline of what seemed to be a bookcase, (which really seemed to be an ornament more than anything) propped against the wall, his closet (probably made of sophisticated wood), and a glass-topped coffee table on which his laptop was resting.

She was half-expecting him to stay awake, waiting for her, but she was aware he wouldn't go that far. She found him turned on his side of the bed, facing away from her, and with the evenness of his breathing, she surmised he must have fallen asleep already. She also found a pillow placed at the center of his California king bed, seeming to serve as a tangible division between them. Again, she found herself smiling because he seemed to be hell-bent on proving to her that nothing _else_ would happen. But when she finally edged beneath the covers, her limbs relaxed and sprawled across her space of the bed, she thought that the pillow lodged between them was unnecessary – even their shadows wouldn't even touch with this palpable distance stretching between them.

She placed her phone atop the bedside table and reached for the lamp beside her to turn it off. But just before turning on her side, she pressed herself up and slightly angled her body towards his direction, muttering a soft good night.

Sasuke caught this, making a mental note that he'd greet her first thing in the morning.

...

She heard a faint, unyielding buzz before she realized that it was her phone vibrating against the table. She immediately took hold of it – not wanting to bother the figure beside her – and answered the call.

"Yes. Yes, I'll be there," she whispered before hanging up.

The clock on her phone read 4:43 AM and although her eyes were still shaded with sleep, she carefully sat up and slipped out of the bed to get ready. She shuffled silently across the room and slowly opened the door. She hurriedly proceeded to her room to arrange her medical tools before taking a quick shower.

Her shifts in the hospital were irregular but that had never been a problem before because she had her own car to bring. Everything changed when Sasuke insisted on taking her to and picking her up from the hospital, disallowing her to drive.

Sasuke usually would leave at eight in the morning to get to work or to wherever he wanted to (she had stopped making a fuss about this) so she had made it a point to also leave for work as early as that even though her clinic hours wouldn't be until ten in the morning. Sasuke had actually consulted her about this the first time he found her in the passenger seat beside him.

"Aren't your shifts irregular?"

"I'll be fine going there at an earlier time."

"You can leave at any time you want. I'll pick you up."

"But that'll mean you leaving your work."

"It's nothing."

Of course, she would have none of that because even though Sasuke was the CEO of their corporation, she knew he was still a busy man, and she couldn't have him abusing his position just because of her, or rather, her baby.

But she couldn't just wake him up this early. She started to think of how to go about this predicament while brushing her teeth and combing the tangles out of her hair. She thought of calling Ino, but she knew how much of a heavy sleeper her best friend was.

There was no one else to call since her friend who dropped her off at Ino's shop the day before didn't know where she was living, and it would be too much of a bother to him. She could only think of resorting to driving her own car which was parked in their garage. It hadn't been used recently, but Sasuke, as compensation for what she forced Sakura to give up, made sure that it would be maintained in good condition**. **True enough**, **she'd seen mechanics working on her car just last week.

She slipped into a cap sleeve pleated dress and put on her white coat before grabbing her bag and keys and yanking the door open. She descended the stairs as silently as possible, the heels of her shoes making a faint thud against the wood, when she saw Sasuke already standing at the doorway, dressed up in his slim-fit office suit.

Her eyes widened instantly, and Sasuke wanted to smirk at her reaction.

"Good morning," he said coolly.

She gave him a confused nod. "But why are you awake?"

"Because you are," he said flatly.

"It's an emergency. You don't need to drive me right now, Sasuke. I'll be fine driving on my own. You can just pick me up later."

"Let's go, Sakura," he motioned, already heading outside.

"But Sasuke –"

He stopped before glancing over his shoulder. "I can always sleep later. Nothing to worry about."

Before she could add another retort, he was already out, starting the car.

It was still dark when they made it to the main road leading to the hospital. The road signs were made visible by the borrowed light from the lampposts lining the road, and there were only a few cars emerging out of every street corner. Even though the sun would break through the horizon any minute soon, everything was still night-stilled, and Sakura wished she could do something to break the stillness between them. She was forming words in her head when she heard him speak.

"Do you always have to do this?"

She cocked her head to the side. "Do what, Sasuke?"

He spared her a look. "Always rushing to the hospital."

"Of course. It's my duty," she replied softly.

"Can't you," Sasuke shifted his gear, "skip out sometimes, have a break?"

Sakura then caught on his meaning. Of course, they had had a fight just a few days ago because of this. She knew he was especially worried about his child, but she'd always maintain that as much as she could, she would continue to fulfill her duties as a doctor.

"I do have breaks in the hospital, Sasuke," she chuckled, and Sasuke just had to stop and look at her. Good thing that they were now at the intersection, and the red light was on despite the measly number of cars present on the road.

Sakura was oblivious to his eyes trained on her as she started to reminisce about her proud moments as a pediatrician.

"But I can't take a permanent break. At least not yet. I love my patients too much to do that. The kids are waiting for me and I'm always overjoyed by the fact that their parents entrust them to me. Oh, Sasuke, you should hear how they'd call me Auntie Sakura or Mama Sakura sometimes, it's really – " she finally turned to him and a blush immediately crept up her face when she saw him watching her in a steady gaze.

She was glowing and smiling so radiantly, and for a brief moment, Sasuke had forgotten about the sight of her tear-streaked face months ago when she was still in love with him and he had thrown it all away. That scene was always replaying inside his head, and just for this instant, he felt forgiven for what he had done.

Sakura then looked away, facing forward.

"Sasuke, it's a go."

He pressed down on the gas pedal, trying to keep himself from turning to look at her again.

"Don't worry. I won't let the baby suffer of course."

"Take care of yourself, too," he replied without looking at her. He meant it, but Sakura wouldn't know about that of course because to her, the child she was carrying was the only thing keeping them together.

Sakura pressed back a smile. The changes in Sasuke's attitude were too overwhelming, and she couldn't afford to be carried so easily away again.

Minutes shaved away without them passing a word to each other, and they soon found themselves in front of Konoha Hospital. Sakura thought of something to say before stepping out but decided that it wasn't really important so she let out a sigh before opening the car door.

"I'll wait here," he muttered.

With hesitation, she slowly looked back at him.

Sasuke answered her questioning gaze with a serious, resolute look.

"This might take long."

"Aa."

"Thanks," she whispered pell-mell, wrenching her gaze away, before shifting her bag on her shoulder and finally closing the door.

...

Sakura was called by Shizune, one of the senior nurses in the hospital and someone she would consider as more than an acquaintance. Apparently, one of her patients who was very fond of her was having an asthma attack and the 7-year-old girl wanted her to be there. While the mother of the child was present, Sakura needed to be there to pacify the crying girl, instructing her gently to take deep breaths as she asked Shizune to adjust the dose of the medicine they'd inject into her dextrose.

It took her about an hour to calm the girl down, and the child soon regained her regular breathing and had been lulled to sleep by the mother. Sakura, as requested by the little girl, stayed until her eyes finally fluttered close.

Knowing that Sasuke was waiting outside, she had hurriedly gathered her things and told Shizune that she'd be back in a while before rushing to the hospital's front door.

"Sakura-san!"

She stopped, looked over her shoulder and saw her colleague, speeding towards her, greeting her with a casual smile.

"Gaara-san," she nodded at him in acknowledgement, "Good morning."

"Same to you. Hmm..." he took a quick glance at his watch, "Emergency?"

"Ah...yes," she briefly massaged the side of her neck, "one of the kids had an asthma attack. I had to calm her down."

"Maintaining your reputation as the most friendly and caring doctor in this hospital, I see," he said, his eyes alight with amusement.

Sakura chuckled softly. "It's not about reputation. I just love my job and my patients."

"And I'm sure they love you back," he smiled once more. "By the way, a guy was looking for you yesterday..."

"Oh?"

"I thought he's your boyfriend," he joked.

She grinned back. "I don't have one! But thank you so much for yesterday, Gaara-san."

"No problem. Anytime."

Sakura could only smile. She met Gaara only two months ago as he was transferred into Konoha from Suna. He was a surgeon, and it was such a great relief to her that she always had someone to talk to when it came to her qualms about performing surgeries. She was always so afraid that she'd witness a patient die on the operating table by her own hands. But Gaara was always there to lighten up the mood. Since he, being a surgeon for six years now, had a longer experience in the field, he had shared with her stories of success and tragedies and how he had coped with them. He had never failed to make her feel at ease.

She then hurled a glance outside.

"I'm sorry but I have to go. See you!"

She waved him goodbye before finally walking out of the hospital and towards the Rolls Royce waiting for her.

"Thank you for waiting, Sasuke," she said as she got in, offering him a wholehearted smile.

Sasuke just gave a meek nod at her, still looking past through her window, straining to see the person Sakura was talking to just minutes ago, the same guy that he met yesterday.

He then faced Sakura who had just finished strapping her seat belt around her.

"Who is he?"

"Who –"

Sakura followed his gaze and saw Gaara still at the entrance, talking to someone in a wheelchair.

"A friend. He's also a surgeon like me," she shrugged, "By the way, were you the one who asked for me yesterday?"

Sasuke regarded her for a moment before revving up the engine.

"Aa. I had no idea where you were," he answered, avoiding her look.

"Of course," she said almost mockingly.

Sasuke then offered his upturned palm. "Give me your phone."

For the first time that day, Sakura didn't argue with him and willfully obeyed his demand.

He nonchalantly pressed the keys on her phone before swiftly handing it back while maneuvering the car to swing out of the parking space. "I've put in my number."

Sakura felt an uprush of unexpected joy for this sudden development. But she wasn't about to show him that. Besides, she herself didn't want to dwell on it.

Sasuke, on the other hand, expected a reaction of any kind from her and was shocked to hear nothing. Not wanting to drive in silence yet again, he tossed a question.

"What are your plans?"

"I'll have to go back later. But it's only 7 so I think I'll be taking a nap. It'd be okay if you could drop me off – "

"I'll drive you home later."

"Then where are we going?"

Sasuke looked at her, almost smiling.

"Breakfast."

**...**

_**Tbc**_

[I'll do longer (and better-written) chapters next time. I just need to know if I still have readers for this, I guess. The whole draft of the story is in-progress so yes I'm continuing this no matter how long it takes me to. I can't assure you that I won't lose my motivation but I promise to TRY to regain it no matter what. Please leave reviews and throw me ideas!]


	5. Almost

**a/n:** eager to put this up because it's been exactly one year since I posted this. And yes, _1 FAN_, I'll see if I can squeeze in that suggestion of yours somewhere in the future chapters. Thank you!

I'll be updating _un-courtly love_ next.

* * *

_Almost_

"As usual, thank you for waiting, Sasuke."

Sakura pulled open the door and climbed inside, buckling her seatbelt but not before flashing a pure smile at Sasuke who, despite the unexpected rush of warmth spreading over him, just meekly nodded in return before pulling out of the parking space.

It had been three weeks since they started this routine of having breakfast together. It wasn't an everyday happening, but both of them had grabbed every chance they could get to stick to it. Whether it was a conscious effort coming from both sides or just an almost habitual spur-of-the-moment decision, they had never pondered on their own.

Sleeping together in the same room seemed to be a considerable factor. Neither had initiated any physical contact between them, but staying in the same bed for weeks now had made it easier for them to be attuned to each other's schedule even without quick clarifications. Whoever woke up first wouldn't have to wait for that long for a company.

It was always Sasuke who would get to wake up first, and whenever he did, he would pull the rustled blanket up until it covered Sakura's shoulders, and sometimes, just sometimes, he would brush away some hairs sticking to her lips before taking a shower and heading downstairs.

Sakura never failed to feel guilty every time she saw Sasuke, already up, drinking his usual cup of coffee by the time she got out of bed. On her lucky days, she would be nudged awake by the faint noise of shower coming from the bathroom, and she would immediately go to her room to prepare for the day as well. But on days that she just couldn't wake up until her body had finally registered the missing warmth beside her, she would launch herself out of the bed, slip on her slippers in a flurry before sprinting down the stairs, pausing on the landing just before Sasuke, probably alerted by her footfalls, turned to her.

She would usually thread her fingers through her hair and give a shy smile whenever he glanced at her briefly before setting down his cup, muttering a silent morning greeting as he fixed the cuffs of his office suit.

_"Good morning, Sasuke," she would chirp. "Please wait for a moment. I'll just go wash up quick and then I'll cook breakfast."_

Sakura was always worried that she would wake up one day and find him already on his way to the office. He had been kind to her for the past weeks. Her nausea had affected her on some nights, and she was thankful that Sasuke was always there to hold back her hair or give her a glass of water after. There was one time though that he even massaged the back of her neck, and she had to keep her face down to hide away her heated cheeks.

She wanted to repay him, to make their arrangement as relaxing and as normal as it would be if they were in a proper relationship. But she had learned to cease thinking so seriously about _them_. Their present arrangement was more than what she had expected from him when he proposed a new beginning for the sake of their child.

Sasuke wouldn't admit how he couldn't leave the house without Sakura waking up and greeting him. He realized he liked hearing her sleepy, mellifluous voice greeting him. Her presence beside him every night had been enough to soothe him back to sleep whenever he would find himself cruelly roused by his nightmares. He was thankful that Sakura didn't have to see that; she didn't have to know how pitiful he really was. Sakura cooking breakfast just like before their fallout was an added bonus. He wouldn't usually expect her to do so, but he never complained whenever she had her way.

She would usually cook bacon strips and fried eggs because fried things were easier to prepare, he recalled Sakura saying as an excuse. He didn't mind, really. Sometimes though, she would make potato omelette...and prepare tomatoes. _She really wasn't supposed to know about that._

Sakura liked how Sasuke would usually pretend not to see the tomatoes until she gently pushed the plate towards him. Sometimes, she would finish her meal in a hurry and wash the dishes just so he would eat, and she would pretend she didn't see anything. She would just face him again the moment he said, "I'm going," and she would smile at him, see him walk through their door and would merrily pick up the now-empty plate.

But her emergency shifts had happened just more than once, and in those times, Sasuke was always there to keep up the routine of driving for her and eating breakfast together after she had settled matters. Just like this time.

"Where do you want to eat?" It was an automatic question.

"Craving salad," she answered without hesitation.

"Again." Sasuke didn't put much energy into making it a question because he had somehow expected her answer right away.

"Yes, again," she chuckled.

The first time Sasuke invited her for breakfast, it was at a small diner which had salad as their main menu and was just a few miles from the hospital. The invitation actually stunned her so much that Sasuke had to repeatedly ask her the same question of where she wanted to eat until she saw the sign "The Salad Spot" and gave him a mumbled answer. The second time they ate breakfast, Sakura let Sasuke choose, and he brought her to a fine dining restaurant. She realized by then that eating breakfast together was one of Sasuke's ways to establish a better relationship with her. The third time, as they were deciding where to eat, Sakura got a call from Shizune again, begging her to come back so they had no choice but to just grab some burger and fries from a fast food drive-through before Sasuke sped down the road back to the hospital. Now for the fourth time, she was really craving salad again. But a part of her mocked that her craving was induced by something else.

They went to the same place. "The Salad Spot" was an open area with an array of tables and chairs painted in white. Each table had a pole on the center supporting a sunshade, which had a fancy tilt option. Sakura briefly scanned the menu resting on the table before looking at Sasuke with a playful smile on her lips, pressing on the tilt button to cast a shadow over Sasuke's face. Sasuke was holding the menu as if considering _everything_ on it, but she knew better.

"Let me guess, you're ordering Caramelized Tomato Salad?"

Sasuke looked up from the menu and saw her eyes glinting with amusement.

"Shut up, Sakura," he grumbled.

A scowl was now painted on his face as he looked back at the menu, but Sakura knew it was nothing more than an appearance. She had always wanted to do this to him, to tease him about something, to be comfortable and normal, to be just friends. When she fell for him and she agreed to move in with him, she thought it would be easier for her to be close to him. But their fallout proved that it wasn't. Sasuke had always been too distant for her no matter how much she tried to shorten it with whatever measure (both physical and emotional) she knew, and she just grew tired of trying. But she was glad that they were starting over despite her firm hesitation almost a month ago, and sharing this unusual moment with him, seeing him scowl made her feel that after everything that had happened, she really didn't regret anything.

Now as she observed Sasuke practically failing at keeping a concentrated face on the menu, just to avoid her mischievous gaze and confirm her assumption, she recalled how their first breakfast together went.

_She ordered her favorite Caesar salad. She didn't usually like salads before, but ever since her cravings started, she found that salad was one of her favorites along with any sweet delicacies. Sasuke, on the other hand, ordered a salad with lots of tomatoes in it – diced and sliced in rings – and she had noticed how he would pick the tomatoes off the chopped pork and the usual greens, setting them aside to the edge of the plate. _

"_Sasuke, you don't eat tomatoes?"_

"_Hn."_

"_Okay, can I have them?" Driven by her desire for tomatoes, she started eating them off his plate until Sasuke put the fork down with force and looked away._

"_Sakura."_

_She froze midbite. "Sasuke?"_

"_The tomatoes..."_

"_Uhm, yes?" She proceeded to pop another one into her mouth, and Sasuke almost glared at her._

"_Don't."_

_Sakura's mouth formed a small O, and she immediately understood. She unconsciously bit the tip of her fork in embarrassment for the way she had behaved._

"_I'm really sorry, Sasuke. The tomatoes looked delicious and I just . . . didn't know."_

_Sasuke just sighed, picked up his fork again, and resumed eating._

"_Let's just eat, Sakura."_

_Sakura saw how he wouldn't look at her and interpreted it as him being totally mad at her. She didn't know why but she suddenly became emotional, and she felt her eyes prickling with hot tears. _

"_But, but I'm really -"_

_Her emotional state must have been made evident in her shaky voice that Sasuke alarmingly looked at her._

"_Why are you crying?"_

"_Because I ate your tomatoes and you're now mad at me," she said in between sobs, "But I didn't mean to, Sasuke. I'm really really -"_

_She let out a little gasp when she felt Sasuke's hand rest over hers._

"_I'm not mad."_

_Sasuke held her gaze, and she finally smiled through her tears._

"_Okay."_

_They then continued to finish off their meals, and Sasuke let her ate all the remaining tomatoes. Just before they went to bed that night, Sakura bravely apologized for her unneeded emotional outburst, trying to reason out that emotional instability was common for pregnant women. Sasuke just cut her off with a tap on her shoulder as he glided past her towards their bed._

Sasuke could feel the intensity of Sakura's eyes on him, and he wondered for a moment if it was another instance of her emotional instability. He was really distressed when he found her suddenly crying during their first breakfast together because he was scared to know that he was the reason behind those tears again. It relieved him greatly though when she explained that her reaction wasn't something grave, that it wasn't deeply his fault, and that it was just part of her pregnancy – the exact reason why they had been trying to start anew.

He had also found her slowly becoming comfortable with him again. She was no longer that detached and indifferent about his efforts of starting over. In fact, she had become accepting of them, and she herself was now willingly doing her part. She was speaking to him more often now and showing her emotions more openly. (He had been forcing himself to do the same.) He would daresay she had become friendly towards him. But whatever they had right now, with or without a label, was, he thought, _enough_ for him.

It was infinitely better than what they had even before she broke. Back then, they were just strangers in a nothing more, nothing less physical relationship. Now, there was no physical intimacy even when they had been sharing a bed for weeks, but at least they had become more than just strangers to each other. He had been suppressing his thoughts of touching her because he didn't want to make a move that would throw them into an even bigger mess. Besides, he would only touch her if needed like that one time when he wanted to relieve her of her pain as she was having a nausea attack.

He didn't know yet what to make of their current relationship, but he felt positive that it was the kind of atmosphere that he wanted his child to grow up in. The past might forever haunt him, but he was still hoping for a future untainted by it.

Sakura then called over a waiter.

"Two Caramelized Tomato Salad, please."

"Sakura," Sasuke warned.

She grinned sheepishly and continued, "Oh. Make that three. Thank you."

Sasuke was almost sure he saw the waiter blush when Sakura beamed.

"Is th-there anything else, Ma'am?"

"No more. Thank you."

With a final smile from Sakura, the waiter finally turned on his heels, furiously scribbling down on his pad. Sasuke just crossed his arms and raised his brow at his retreating figure.

"Anything wrong, Sasuke?"

He shook his head dismissively, focusing back on her. "Nothing."

Sakura took a deep breath before starting. "So...I told Shizune I'll be taking the rest of the day off..."

Sasuke staggered forward on his seat. "Anything wrong? Are you sick?"

He knew that Sakura wasn't really the type to take whole breaks from her shifts so this statement of hers instantly got him concerned.

To be honest, she really was feeling unusually tired for the past few days, but she had anticipated it because after all, she was now on her way to her fourth month of pregnancy and would have a checkup with her doctor in two weeks. But she wasn't about to confess anything to Sasuke. She didn't want to worry him needlessly and after all, she wouldn't do anything that would harm her child.

"No. Uhm...there's something else I want to do for the day," she bit her lip and looked away, not sure how to phrase her idea.

"That is?"

"Can I, can I see your office, Sasuke?" she paused, waiting for his initial reaction. Then she added quickly, "But, of course, it's okay if I can't. Really. You can just drop me home after we eat and I'll just -"

"Okay. I'll take you there, Sakura."

Her eyes went wide, totally not expecting that he would take her on that request. She was about to say something when a lowered tray came into view.

"Your Caramelized Tomato Salads, Ma'am, Sir," the waiter began placing their plates on the table.

"Please enjoy and have a great day," he bowed.

Sakura forgot all about what she was to say when her eyes landed on the salad she had been craving for days. She squealed in delight, and she jovially turned to the waiter.

"Is it okay if I ask you to bring your other salad dressings here? Or just tell me if we have to pay an additional fee for –"

Sasuke observed how the waiter was looking at Sakura with such a big-toothed smile that his face almost couldn't contain it.

"If it's for you, Ma'am, then it's okay and it's for free!" he hurriedly scuttled away.

Sasuke cleared his throat to get back her attention.

"As planned, I'll take you there after this."

"Thank you, Sasuke."

It was the second time she thanked him for that day, and she also smiled at him, but he wouldn't forget how she had smiled (warmly and too sweetly) a while ago at the waiter, and he suddenly felt irritated.

He tried not to pay attention when the waiter came back with a tray full of dressings as per Sakura's request and when the waiter lingered just a table behind Sakura as they proceeded to finish their breakfast.

When they were done, the waiter was already at their table even without his or Sakura's signal for him to come over to bring their bill.

"Here is your bill, Ma'am," he offered the check to Sakura in what Sasuke considered the most sickeningly polite way. Sakura was just about to take it, and Sasuke was so sure she would accidentally _touch_ the waiter's hand.

"No, give it to me," he spoke up rather sternly. The waiter just nervously nodded and slowly shifted the direction of his outstretched hand. Sasuke roughly pulled the bill out of his grasp.

"I'll just deliver this on the counter. You may go."

"Ye—yes..." he bowed again.

"Thank you so much for your services," Sakura spoke as if to brighten him up which in turn really consoled the waiter. "We'll make sure to eat here again."

When Sasuke and Sakura made it to the counter to hand in their bill, the waiter, busy wiping another table waved at their direction (although Sasuke knew it was directed only to Sakura who actually waved back). He sent the waiter a glare before thinking loudly to himself: "I'll make sure she'll never go back here."

"What was that, Sasuke?"

He looked at her tentatively.

"Nothing."

**...**

The drive to Uchiha Inc. was anything but silent. Sakura couldn't help gushing about how satisfyingly delicious the salad was. She finished her plate and the extra one by herself (and had no single complaint about that) because Sasuke insisted one plate was enough for him. But she would like to think he really just didn't want to show her his great appetite for tomatoes. She also prattled on about how she would make it a point to go there as often as she could and try all their salads. Sasuke then made a mental note of checking out other salad places that would offer new and special salad bowls and which wouldn't have waiters as annoying as the one that just attended to them. But as a precautionary step, he told Sakura to call him whenever she would decide to eat there. Sakura just happily agreed, oblivious of his reasons.

When Sakura stepped out of the car, she didn't quite expect the lofty building that met her eyes. They were now in the high-end part of the city, and although she had once accompanied Ino to the grandiose malls that boasted of assorted branded products and designer labels, they had never visited this area.

She had only seen this building once months ago on TV when the media reported about the tragic incident that befell Sasuke's family. She felt guilty for suddenly remembering it at this moment so she warded off the thoughts and focused back on wondering just how massive (in quantity) this piece of architecture was.

"Thirty floors." She heard his voice from beside her.

She slowly nodded. "And where is your office?" _The top floor, of course, _she mentally slapped her forehead.

"You'll find out soon," he said, shoving his hands inside his pockets.

She then noticed that his car was nowhere to be found, and she gracelessly turned her head from left to right, looking for it.

"Where –"

"I had someone park it for me."

"Oh."

"Let's go."

They walked side by side although Sakura wasn't sure if she should actually lag a step behind. Two men were stationed at each side of the automatic sliding door. They both had a brawny built, and they were clad in white starched polo and had black goggles over their eyes. They already looked terrifying to Sakura, and the fact that they also had long guns slung over their shoulders made her want to ask Sasuke if there was no alternative entrance.

Sasuke noticed her discomfort because she was purposely delaying her steps so he inched towards her. Sakura then felt his hand come up which rested lightly on the curve of her back as they took the small elevated steps towards the entrance. She muttered a soft thank you.

"Sir," the men greeted in unison.

Sasuke just gave an almost imperceptible nod, and Sakura made up for such gesture of his by smiling at them as earnestly as she could manage as they passed them.

Once they entered the building, Sasuke dropped his hand, and Sakura tried to pay her full attention on her surroundings. The lobby didn't disappoint. The walls and floor were made of white marble with occasional streaks of black tiles for a minimalist aesthetic. The Uchiha Crest ( which was shaped like a fan with its upper part colored red and the lower, white) was etched into the center of the floor that seemed to function as a rotunda and was directly below the grand crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. Both decorative and functional lights illuminated the place. The reception had a slab of glazed granite pushed up from the main wall and on it rested the metallic carved letters of Uchiha Inc. Sakura could see the five receptionists entertaining clients clad in business suits.

Sakura followed Sasuke until they stopped outside an elevator door. Sakura counted six of them, and she wondered why there were no other people choosing this elevator. Sasuke then slid up a cover from the wall and pressed his thumb on it.

"What's that for?"

"My elevator."

True enough, the elevator opened with no one inside. Sakura could say that it was relatively cleaner than other public elevators. It was sterile clean. There were no scratches or smudges on the wall and the handrails looked as if they were untouched. The floor also seemed to have no significant amount of dirt, and Sakura just laughed.

"Sasuke, you really are anti-social, aren't you?"

He didn't answer as he just pressed a numbered button on the panel.

"29? 29th floor?" She also wanted to ask what was on the top floor then, but Sasuke didn't seem too eager to give her a response.

"I had this made after that incident. I can't take the pity looks people give me," he shrugged, not really wanting to be vulnerable in front of her. There were things he just had to explain especially now that he decided to let her know about this side of his life.

Sakura felt a pang of guilt again and tried to divert the topic by asking about Uchiha Inc. Just before they stepped out of the elevator, she had come to the conclusion that Uchiha Inc. was indeed the largest business group in the country which could even manipulate its whole economy if they only wished to.

She didn't know if it was because of the time of the day (almost ten in the morning) or her bad timing at coming here, but there were no people in sight on the floor. She could see rooms, but all doors were shut. They finally stopped at a lacquered door, and she heard Sasuke let out a sigh before turning its knob and pushing it open.

"Teme!"

Sakura soon saw the source of the voice. The man who had a shock of golden hair was grinning and sitting on a swivel chair, his lower limbs sprawled on the glass-topped table which she assumed was actually Sasuke's working space.

"Yo!" A silver-haired man with a mask covering almost everything of his face except his eyes had his one hand up in what appeared to be a casual greeting. He was seated just across the table, his other arm resting on a messy heap of documents.

She was just about to greet back when the blond man slid back the swivel chair and stood up in haste, his hands slamming down on the table, his neck craning towards Sasuke and Sakura's direction.

"Oh, wow, Sasuke you've brought a girl."

Sakura angled her head towards the man and just bowed her head in acknowledgment, an awkward smile plastered on her face.

"Who is she?"

The silver haired was eyeing her intently that she had to drag her eyes towards Sasuke who seemed to be having a hard time answering so she decided to intervene.

"I'm Sakura. Haruno Sakura. I work at Konoha Hospital," she plainly stated.

"Nice meeting you, then, Haruno-san. I'm Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto, the blond-haired guy, proffered his hand which she gently shook.

"Kakashi," said the silver-haired, standing up as well and extending his hand.

"Nice meeting you." Sakura did the same gesture.

Suddenly, a phone started to vibrate, and Kakashi picked it up from the table.

"Yes. I'll be there. Wait for some more," he drawled. "Ok. I get it woman, tone down." He then pressed the end button and sluggishly shoved it inside his pocket.

Naruto turned to him in question. "Was that Mei-san?"

"Asking me to pick her up again from work. When she has a car herself," he said, shaking his head in frustration.

Sakura unconsciously looked at Sasuke, and she really wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation except that Sasuke didn't seem to get the same feeling. He had his eyes fixed on the ground, and she silently begged access to his thoughts.

"Oh, give her a break, Sensei. She's pregnant," Naruto grinned, clapping Kakashi on the back.

Sakura instinctively rested her hand on her bump. She was glad that she still hadn't taken off her medical coat. It gave her comfort, and she tugged it on further, an attempt to cover something she knew Sasuke wouldn't want his friends or colleagues to see...yet.

Kakashi gave a little snort before he started gathering all his belongings into a briefcase, including the magazine that Sakura only had a glimpse of -"Paradise..." something.

"I'm going then. Nice meeting you, Haruno-san." Sakura nodded in return.

"Have you finished reviewing the documents?" Sasuke asked brusquely, making his way to his table with lots of papers strewn about on it.

"It's been waiting for you since yesterday. They're in your drawer, Sasuke. I'll see you."

Sasuke gave a curt nod, and Kakashi finally opened the door and left.

Naruto then went over to Sakura to begin a chitchat. "Eh, so Haruno-san, you're working in the hospital right? You're a doctor?

"I've been a pediatrician for years but I've also finished my practicum on surgery so I've been a surgeon for two years now." She was about to add that she also had to take a break from her second profession because of her recent condition but realized that he really didn't need to know about that.

"Awesome! So could you be the doctor of my kids in the future?" he excitedly grabbed her hands.

Sakura gave a soft chuckle before Sasuke interrupted.

"Shut up, Dobe. You don't even have a wife yet."

Naruto just gave him a light glare before facing Sakura again with those eyes full of mirth. "Don't listen to him, Haruno-san. I've got a girlfriend of two years and we're getting married next month. Teme is just jealous that he doesn't have one," he made a face at Sasuke.

Sakura wanted to flinch but instead shook Naruto's hands. "Congratulations, Uzumaki—"

"It's okay. Your Teme's friend. You can call me Naruto. Please call me, Naruto."

"Then, call me Sakura, Naruto. Congratulations on your wedding!"

"Thanks! I don't have an invitation with me but I gave Sasuke one. Sasukee!" he hollered over his shoulder, "Be sure to bring Sakura-chan there, okay?" He then turned back to her, "Please I hope you can come."

"I'd love to! Thank you so much!"

After all, she once dreamt of having her own wedding, too.

Naruto then glanced at his watch and jumped up. "Teme, I need to get going. We're still gonna have to look for a wedding florist and I'm already late." Naruto then grabbed his jacket lying among the clutter on the table.

"My best friend owns a flower shop and is a florist, too," Sakura offered. "If you've got time, I can accompany you there."

"Really? Oh, wow, thanks, Sakura-chan! Okay. Okay. I'll just have to meet up with Hinata then we'll go back here and we can all go together. Would that be okay?"

"Sure."

Naruto then scrambled to get to the door, pulling it open, as he dialed on his phone.

Sakura finally turned to Sasuke, only to find him already settled in his place, browsing over the piles of documents on his table. She suddenly felt alone.

She fidgeted. "If...if you need to be alone, then I guess I'll just wait outside..."

She had already made a step towards the door when Sasuke spoke.

"You can stay," he said without looking up.

She didn't know why the atmosphere between them suddenly became tense when they were just having fun together hours ago.

She let out a sigh and walked over to the upholstered sofa across Sasuke's desk. She then took off her coat and folded it in half across her lap. She began surveying the room. Aside from it being spacious and carpeted, there wasn't much stylistic design that appealed to her feminine liking. It was like being inside a monochrome with luminaires, and there was only the presence of his working table, the sofa (with three toss pillows) that she was sitting on, and another small round table with two chairs around it. There were magazines on the coffee table placed across the sofa but judging from the covers, Sakura knew they were the business type of magazines. But she definitely liked how she could see the vast expanse of sky through the floor-to-ceiling strip window.

She then carefully shifted her gaze, sneaking glances at him. He had his one elbow on the table, his cheek leaning against his hand as he held a bundle of documents in the other. His brows were pinched in concentration as he perused through them. She could say that he was visibly tired, and she felt an unusual jolt of desire course through her: She wanted to massage his temple. She caught herself, however, and dropped her gaze. She was rubbing off invisible dirt from her palm, forming an idea in her head, when her phone rang. She fumbled for it inside her bag and hastily placed it to her ear

"Hello? Oh, Gaara-kun."

Sasuke shot her a look. He sure heard her ringtone, but he never expected to hear that name. She was comfortably leaning against the back of the sofa, her other arm supporting the one holding the phone to her ear. He noticed she was no longer wearing her coat, and she was wearing a floral loose dress. It was the first time he saw her in sleeveless attire, and he made sure to remember to tell her to put her coat on before exiting the room.

"No, I've taken the rest of the day off. I'll be back tomorrow morning."

Sasuke noted how her voice wavered between sounding professional and sounding friendly, _too friendly_.

"Yes. We can talk about that over lunch, perhaps," she smiled. It was that same warm smile the waiter had had the luck to see. Sasuke willed his gaze away from her to focus back on the documents instead, drowning out Sakura's chatter with another guy.

He heard her chuckle before she finally hung up. Sakura redirected her gaze back at Sasuke and this time, Sasuke caught it. Sakura awkwardly broke off their eye contact and started to grapple with words.

"Oh, uhm..." her eyes wandering around the room, "I'm just wondering if you'll be back early tonight? I...I plan to cook dinner."

She was afraid to meet his probably questioning stare so she quickly added with a smile, "As thank you for driving me so early to the hospital again and for the breakfast."

She didn't want him to think that it was anything romantic because she couldn't tread that line again. She just wanted to thank him.

Sasuke wanted to go home early, but there was just so much to do in the office and despite the tempting need to just abandon all this work that he never asked for, he thought it wouldn't really be fitting if he would be this irresponsible. He knew very well that his colleagues (or friends) also had their own lives, and in all actuality, he was supposed to be the least busy of them given that he wasn't a husband nor a father legally.

"I might come home late. Don't wait up," he replied as gently as possible, not wanting to give her the wrong idea that he was refusing her because he wanted to.

When his two colleagues asked him about her, he couldn't come up with a response, and it hit him that he really didn't know how to introduce her. Would it really be safe to assume that they were friends now? But what about her condition? If they were only friends, then what would he say if they asked him about her pregnancy? He was just glad that Sakura was there to answer although he wasn't sure if she took his reaction lightly. Besides, with all the blabbering that Naruto gave a while ago, he knew it was impossible that it didn't affect Sakura the least bit especially when the topic of marriage had been brought up. He was well aware that he had taken that possibility away from her, and despite them being on a rather friendly terms now, he wouldn't put it past her to still feel any lingering hatred towards him.

"Oh," she let out a small smile, "I understand." She gave a nod before looking down at her fingers.

But she didn't want to pursue the silence that had settled once again so she tried striking a sustainable conversation.

"So...what do you actually do as the CEO?" she bit her lip, internally berating herself for offering such a stupid question.

He looked at her, amused, although not visible.

"Sign the documents."

"That's all?"

"In my case, yes. Other heads of the companies do more but I never wanted this position anyway so I have Kakashi and the Dobe do the nitty-gritty of my work."

She still had a puzzled expression on her face so he continued, "Kakashi has been the legal adviser of the company ever since and the Dobe, I've known him since I was young, and his family is the company's biggest shareholder. It may not look like it but he knows this stuff better than I do."

Sakura just nodded. She contemplated whether she would continue asking but thought better of it. After his family's tragedy, of course there was no one else expected to assume the CEO's position except him since he was the only Uchiha left. She wasn't aware of his family situation, but if she remembered correctly, he had an older brother. Before she could follow this train of thought though, he spoke again.

"If you're wondering about my brother, stop bothering. Maybe he's dead or maybe not. But it's none of my concern." He then went back to reading and signing.

It was only then that she remembered that during that night that he and his parents were rushed to the hospital, there was no sign of his brother. The reports following that incident just speculated about his brother's disappearance. Some said that the murderers still held him hostage, but some went so far as to say that he was behind the murder himself. The investigation of the police, and the media coverage of the incident went on for about a couple of weeks until it died down and got buried under the incessant, more pressing general issues of the country. It also helped that Sasuke held a conference while still in the hospital, telling the public that he would assume the position and that they could just give the issue a rest, reasoning that it was unnecessary to dwell on it.

She never really knew what happened to the investigation or if Sasuke was still thinking about who did that to his family because he never really talked to her about it. She would admit that she used to not understand why he wouldn't open up about it, but it was only recently that she realized how hard it must have been for him that the last thing he needed was for someone to make him retell the events that night.

The phone on Sasuke's desk started ringing, and he lazily picked it up.

"Dobe. Fine. I'll tell her." And he hung up.

"They're waiting at the lobby. He said he's sorry that he can't come up here."

She tittered. "No, of course, it's fine. I'm going then."

She reached for the door, and as her hand turned its knob, she turned to him. "Oh, by the way, I'll just have Ino drive me home. You don't have to worry. Thank you so much for earlier, Sasuke. And thank you for bringing me here." She made a final nod before opening the door.

"Sakura."

She looked at him.

"Please put your coat on. It's cold outside."

Sakura was baffled by his out-of-the-blue statement but nonetheless complied. That wasn't what Sasuke wanted to say first, but he was glad that she did put it on. He continued.

"I'll pick you up at lunch tomorrow."

She blinked and was about to agree when a prior arrangement resurfaced on her mind. "Oh, but I have –"

"I'll drive you back if you want. You can just spend your lunch break with me."

"Yes, but..." she then considered the offer. She knew that this was Sasuke doing his part, but she would feel bad for canceling his lunch meeting with her doctor colleague.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. But I've made plans..."

Sasuke knew with whom, and his grip on the documents tightened which he didn't notice.

"Maybe next time," she gave a final smile before closing the door.

Sasuke almost wanted to run after her and tell her he would be back home early tonight, but he stopped himself and started pondering on the possible logic behind his disturbed feelings. He knew that he and Sakura were on better terms now than they ever did before and it was exactly what he wanted. They were starting anew, indeed. But he felt like, he felt like it still wasn't enough.

**...**

**_Tbc._**


	6. Friends

**a/n: **oh-so-watered down.

* * *

Upon reaching the lobby, Sakura saw Naruto standing near the exit, waving enthusiastically at her. She returned the gesture and shifted her eyes over to the lady standing beside him who was sending her a warm and exuberant smile.

The lady was petite and tall, only a few inches shorter than Naruto, and her black silky hair flowed with the occasional soft gust of wind that entered through every time the sliding doors opened. As Sakura came closer, she thought she had never seen eyes that were as gentle as the lady's lavender eyes which aptly mirrored the features of their flower counterpart – pale to the sight but tender to the feeling. Sakura then immediately knew that the couple standing in front of her was sealed by destiny and their perfect togetherness radiated with every beam of Naruto and every shy smile of his beloved.

"Sakura-chan! This is Hinata, my fiancée," Naruto proudly declared.

"Nice meeting you, Hinata-chan," Sakura shook her hands. "You look...stunning."

Hinata blushed visibly, and Sakura thought that this woman was admirably genuine, real in her every emotion. Sakura decided she already liked her.

"Thank you, Sakura-chan. You look gorgeous as well," Hinata shook back Sakura's hands before smiling widely. "Are you Uchiha-san's – "

"Friend," Sakura briskly supplied. "Yes, I work at Konoha Hospital and he was my patient months ago," she offered with a smile. Sakura somehow anticipated this misunderstanding, so she was quick to thwart it before it even took root.

Naruto then turned to his fiancée, his lips stretching into a wide grin. "Can you actually believe it, Hinata-chan, Teme actually has a friend! And it's a girl!"

Sakura giggled, a sudden burst of real emotion. "Is it that unexpected?"

"Well..." Naruto cocked his head, his mouth quirking upwards in contemplation. "Sasuke has had flings, but never friends or girlfriends," he shrugged.

Sakura involuntarily winced at this statement, and she quickly obliterated the images of Sasuke with another woman forming in her head, trying to get her rational side working. She thought that if she was already friends with Sasuke, then by all means, she shouldn't judge him. She should even give him support in case one of those flings bloomed into a serious relationship. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling inside as Naruto finally led the way out.

...

Naruto was behind the wheels, Hinata was on the passenger seat, and Sakura could only observe the two from the front-window mirror as she answered some quick questions about the location of her best friend's shop. Sakura then learned that Hinata was working as a fashion designer in some glamorous company in New York and that she was actually the one designing her bridal gown with the help of some colleagues who were also managing the motif and other aesthetics of her wedding. But she said that they had to do all the preparations in Japan because she would want to have her wedding in her home country.

Hinata made a move to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, and Sakura caught a glimpse of Hinata's engagement ring. A slow, reminiscent smile spread through her face as she recalled her own fantasies about her wedding ring. Hinata's ring was a three-stone diamond ring with a pave-set detailing, which really glimmered from Hinata's pale and slender fingers.

"That's beautiful."

Hinata followed her gaze and blushed.

"Thank you."

Naruto saw them through the mirror, and he grinned.

"I actually wanted to buy her something bigger than that, but Hinata-chan likes everything simple," he threw an affectionate glance at his fiancée before focusing back on the road.

The three of them remained in comfortable silence until Sakura asked Naruto to turn at the corner of street. It wasn't that long before the shop came into view.

When they finally entered the shop, Ino's voice floated across the room.

"Apology, you say – "

"No. I don't want to call it apology."

Sakura saw a man standing across the counter, his hair up in a tight ponytail.

"Oh, but you said your girlfriend walked out on you, hmmm?"

Being acquainted with the tone of her best friend, Sakura knew how much Ino was currently enjoying teasing out some more details about the man's story with his girlfriend.

"That's not my problem anymore," the man just sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Anyway, I'm just gonna pick up some flowers – "

"Uh-uh. You can't just give her random flowers, Mister," Ino shook her head in mocking disappointment, her arms now folded against her chest.

"Are girls always this troublesome? I don't think she even likes flowers."

Ino raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, but a flower of apology will surely do something. Here, I'll wrap you something."

Before she got to the task of picking out the suitable flowers, she turned to Sakura.

"Just a minute, Sak."

But it wasn't just a minute. Ino deliberately took all the time she wanted in preparing the bouquet, taking sadistic pleasure in seeing the man grunting and tapping his foot impatiently. After a few more minutes, she finally handed the bouquet to him.

"That should appease your girlfriend."

The man grudgingly accepted it and sighed.

"So troublesome." Then his phone rang, and he lazily pressed it against his ear. "Yes, yes. On my way to the headquarters."

He walked away briskly. But Ino had something more to say.

"You, sir, are a police officer?"

Sakura didn't see him in such an outfit. He was only wearing a buttoned-up gray polo and black trousers.

"Inspector," he shrugged then turned to leave again.

"Then I suggest you better inspect and get to know more about your girlfriend's likes and dislikes, then?" Ino teasingly quipped.

"Whatever," he said nonchalantly before completely exiting the shop.

The scent of the flowers that the man was holding wafted across Sakura's nose, and she staggered lightly, bringing her hand to her forehead. But afraid of getting noticed, she quickly shook off the dizziness and summoned her strength to grin at Ino.

"That was a scene there, Pig."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Poor guy, unlucky girl...Anyway, you've got...visitors?"

Hinata and Naruto introduced themselves and just like Sakura, Ino couldn't help but to linger at Hinata's countenance. Only when Sakura started speaking again that she was able to break the gaze.

"Ino, sorry I wasn't able to give you a call but they're here to inquire about your services."

"Oh, for what occasion?"

"We're getting married next month!" Naruto grinned.

"Oh, lovely! Congratulations, Hinata-san!" Ino clasped her hands in awe and gave the girl a quick, tight hug. "Don't worry. I got you! And since you know Sakura, you'll also be getting a huge discount from me."

Naruto and Hinata expressed their heartfelt gratitude, and they started discussing about the motif that Hinata was planning, the design of her gown and of the guests'. Sakura just rested herself on the sofa as the trio conversed excitedly. If she was feeling any better, she would join in the fun of talking about wedding plans. After all, despite her nonexistent wedding ceremony, she had read a lot of magazines that featured weddings of different couples, so she really wasn't that unknowledgeable.

Ino soon made them pick among the possible flowers that would match Hinata's plans, and they all agreed on Lilac, which is believed to symbolize love's first emotions. Naruto insisted that it would suit them as a couple because he "just can't stop falling in love over and over" with his soon-to-be wife.

When Sakura was asked for her opinion, she opted to nod, but the gesture made her feel worse, and soon enough, she was throwing open the swing door of the counter, running into the bathroom.

Though muffled by the closed door, the three could hear her.

"I wonder what Sakura-chan has eaten..." Naruto frowned.

Ino looked at him in mild disbelief. She opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it.

When Sakura came out, she was patting her loose strands of hair in place.

"I'm sorry for that. Where were we?" she smiled weakly.

"Sakura-san, do you need anything? We can fetch some medicines for you if you want," Hinata offered.

"Oh, uhm, thank you but this is nothing," Sakura shook her head convincingly. "Let's get back to the discussion, shall we?"

When she took her seat beside her best friend, Ino threw her a worried, questioning look. Sakura just smiled at her in return, closing her eyes for a moment and giving a faint shake of her head.

When they finally settled things, Naruto and Hinata then bade their goodbyes, with Naruto reasoning that they were out to have one of the final dates they would have before they becoming a married couple. And just like that, he was pulling a furiously blushing Hinata out of the shop.

After Sakura gave a final wave, she let out a sigh. She began to explain without looking at Ino.

"They're Sasuke's friends. Naruto-kun is one of his colleagues and Hinata-chan's his fiancée. Of course they don't know that I'm pregnant," she turned to Ino and suppressed a laugh. " Naruto-kun was even shocked that Sasuke had a friend, you know?"

"Wait, so that ass didn't introduce you properly?" Ino crossed her arms, her tone rising.

"What could he have said, Ino? Someone who's neither his wife nor his girlfriend but pregnant with his child?" she scoffed.

"I'm sorry, Sak. I didn't mean it like that," Ino reached for her hand.

"It's okay. I've accepted whatever mess I'm in. They know me as a friend and I do believe that Sasuke and I can be friends anyway. He said he wanted to start anew," Sakura smiled, squeezing Ino's hand on top of hers.

"Does he mean it?"

"Being friends? Well, Ino-pig, we've been hanging out – eating breakfast together – for weeks now!"

As much as possible, Sakura kept Ino posted about the updates in her life and in her relationship with Sasuke through her phone because she hadn't been able to give a visit the past few weeks. So obviously, telling her this information wasn't necessary. But Sakura couldn't think of any reply to give to that question.

"I'm quite serious, Forehead."

"I don't know but we can try. I think being friends will make it easier for my child. "

"If you think so. As always, I'll just be here to support you, Saku."

Ino pulled her into a hug, and Sakura just patted her arm before breaking away.

"Enough about me. So how's your love life?"

Sakura crossed her legs, propped one arm against her knee, and leaned her face against her palm. She peered at Ino from her position.

"He's the avoidant type of guy. You don't know when he's serious and when he isn't," Ino said dismissively, playing with the curled end of her ponytail.

"So you think he likes you?"

"Maybe so, maybe not. But I have set my eyes on him so he's mine for the taking."

Ino winked at her, and Sakura playfully shoved her away.

"Fine, fine, Pig. Can't wait to meet him!"

"And can't wait to have a first talk with your Sasuke-kun~."

Sakura just snorted.

Suddenly, her phone tuned up.

"Hello? Sasuke? Hmm...I'm with Ino. No, no it's...Okay."

She looked at her phone and threw it into her bag.

"So what was that about?"

Sakura shrugged, feeling tired again. "He was asking where I am."

"Wait, wait, I just realized...you call him Sasuke?" Ino was staring at her in horror.

Sakura squinted her eyes at her, not sure if that question was even worth answering.

"Just Sasuke? Without darling, without an affectionate –kun?"

Sakura remained silent, her look of are-you-serious still painted on her face.

"I mean, you're friends now, right? Aren't you supposed to be closer? Like aren't you supposed to treat each other as husband and wife now more than you did before?"

She wanted to say something, but she forgot about it as another bout of nausea plagued her senses. She just slumped into the sofa and covered her face with her hands, her fingertips trying to massage the taut muscles somewhere above her eyes.

"I feel like throwing up again."

"You look pale, Sakura."

"I'm just tired."

"Don't you really want to take a break from your work?"

"I can still do it, Pig. I'm just getting too much work right now but it'll all pass."

Ino stood up to get a glass of water for Sakura when she heard the front door open. She was quick to turn around, putting on her professional friendly face, when she saw who it was exactly.

"Look, who's here, Forehead."

Sakura removed her hands from her face and tiredly looked up to see Sasuke standing there, hands in his pocket, as usual.

"I thought you'd be here."

Sakura was about to speak, but her best friend beat her to it.

"I'm glad you showed up. I was just about to take her home. Look at her. Take care of your wife, will you?"

"Ino..."

"Oh, wrong term, sorry. Take care of the mother of your child, will you?"

But Sasuke didn't pay Ino any attention. His gaze was transfixed on Sakura.

"I'll take you home, Sakura."

Sakura nodded faintly and pushed herself off the sofa. She wobbled on her feet, and Sasuke made a move to go to her, but Ino was right there by her side, guiding her while sending his way a scorn look from which he just averted his eyes.

Ino helped Sakura until they made it to Sasuke's car.

"Take care of yourself, okay, Forehead?"

Ino hugged her lightly before Sakura got inside the car. Ino was still sending Sasuke a pointed look until he, too, climbed inside.

**...**

_**Tbc.**_

_(this chapter sucks because my recent 'academic' life sucks)_

_(on lilac and its meaning: src is theknot (.com))_

_(i'm also saying hello to my fanfiction friends. i'm not okay but i haven't forgotten about you!)_

_(please support fanofthisfiction's Fanfiction Review Movement. check her profile.)_


	7. Boundaries

**a/n:** This chapter's for _lovesasusakuforever_ and _Meemy-chan_. I'm really sorry if it came out so much later than I promised.

* * *

_Boundaries_

The drive on the way home was uncomfortably silent – at least to him. It was an indication of change, of another possible turning point, and it was beginning to bother him because it might be a turning point for the worse. Sasuke had convinced himself that their relationship had already progressed – supposedly – compared to what forced civil relationship they had from weeks before. He was no longer used to this kind of tight-lipped silence because he would like to believe that they had already been successful in breaking the tensed atmosphere over the days they had spent together. They had shared simple, casual talks – highlights of their day, plans for future breakfast sessions, and harmless details of their individual histories and hidden past.

Sasuke had learned about Sakura's mother who was an international lawyer and currently stationed overseas. When he waited for her to volunteer more information, she just said that she and her mother never got to bond that much because of her mother's demanding job. She never mentioned a thing about her father, and he no longer insisted on the matter. After all, he himself had not told her anything. He also learned about her best friend (the girl did not seem to like him very much) who was also a medical student before she decided to pursue her passion.

Prompted by her simple question of what he usually does, he was only able to share with her or at least give her an idea of his work as a CEO whose sole function was to have his ink on the needed documents. He felt the need to say more but decided against it.

If there would come a point that a segment of their conversation ended, it was always followed by an anticipatory silence because there were a lot of things they could talk about, and Sakura would always be the one to initiate another light talk over which he had the pleasure of hearing her soft chuckles.

Not hearing anything from her as was the case right now was more than worrying; it terrified him.

"Sakura," he began, eyes still focusing on the road ahead.

There was no response, so he turned to look at her. Her head, limp, lolled to one side, with some of her hair cascading to cover part of her face.

When he came to a stoplight, he reached over and swept those stubborn locks of hair behind her ear, his fingers and gaze lingering on her unperturbed sleeping face.

A few more minutes, and they finally arrived at their house. After parking the car inside their garage, Sasuke lightly shook her by her shoulder, nudging her awake.

"Sakura . . . "

It took him a few nudges before her eyes fluttered open and she blearily took in her surroundings. She rubbed the sleep off her eyes and consciously ran a hand through her hair.

"I can't believe I slept through the whole drive. Sorry, Sasuke," she threw him an apologetic glance.

Sasuke just unbuckled his seatbelt before pushing his door open. The next thing Sakura knew was him opening the car door for her.

"I'll help you."

She thought of refusing his help again, but over the past few weeks, she had learned to just accept his offers. She was starting to get used to it, proof that she had finally let her guard down...again.

"Thank you."

Sasuke let her lean against his frame as he supported her by her waist. They began to walk, each step making Sakura more and more conscious. Sakura never had the chance to be this physically close to Sasuke. Sure, she had been sharing a bed with him, but both of them were always too careful to not breach the safe zone.

She remembered being close to him before – those meaningless moments of skin-against-skin which she thought would suffice. There was no intimate proximity, only a careless throw of kisses and touches, a desperate act to feel something.

But never had she been _this_ close to him – his touch was barred by fabric, but he was holding her, securing her against him, and she had never felt something so innocently reassuring. Sakura leaned her head against his shoulder and almost sighed in content.

Sasuke could feel some wisps of her hair against the side of his neck, and he could only tighten his hold around her waist when they started to ascend the steps towards their shared room.

He helped her sit on the bed, and Sakura reluctantly moved away from his warmth.

"I'll get you something."

Before Sakura could even ask, Sasuke was already out of the room. Sakura lied down, wanting to be pulled into a quiet sleep, but she thought it would not be fair to Sasuke. She heard him entering again as she passed a hand over her eyes. She looked at him and saw that he was now carrying a bed table.

She sat up, her one arm outstretched behind her to support her weight.

"What . . ."

"Dinner."

Sasuke carefully placed the table in front of her.

Sakura then frowned.

"I'm sorry. I was supposed to cook something for you, wasn't I?" she said as she looked up at him, her tone deflated.

"I didn't say I was coming home either," he answered evenly.

"But you're here," she finished with a lilt of gratitude.

"Just eat up, Sakura." He began to shuffle out.

Sakura's hand shot out to grab his wrist.

"But these are . . ."

"You love them," he paused, "Right," he added in his lowered voice, half-intending to hide the fact that he had cared to know about what would make her happy.

On the table was a deluxe tomato meal – tomato salad, a bowl of fresh sliced tomatoes, and some more extra balls of tomatoes – and a tub of strawberry ice. He would never tell her that he bought the meal from their go-to salad place (although he was pretty sure she would have guessed it anyway). He had promised himself he would never bring her again anywhere near the creepy waiter, would never go back to "The Salad Spot" again, but he had to consider the fact that if he would buy Sakura her favorite craving, then it had to come from her favorite salad place as well.

Sakura could not help smiling profusely at the sight.

"Thank you so much!"

He nodded. "Call me if you need anything."

"Where are you going? Sit here and eat with me," she urged, tugging down at his wrist.

Sasuke stared blankly at her, and she just rolled her eyes.

"I know you love them more, Sasuke," she said with a faint twinkle in her eye, her hand around his wrist now sliding to grab his hand instead, pulling him.

Sasuke was not sure if Sakura was conscious of her actions – specifically her hand holding his – or if he would just have to chalk it up to her unpredictable mood swings. But he stay rooted to his spot.

"I've eaten dinner before buying you that." He lied.

"Awww. Are you saying no to tomatoes now, Sasuke-kun? I know you love them so much, too," she teased, briefly swinging their joined hands.

That was the first time she called him that, and before he knew it, he was already closing the distance between them, carefully taking the space beside her.

"You can have the whole tomatoes. I'll be okay with the sliced ones," Sakura grinned before picking up a tomato and handing it to him. "Itadakimasu!"

Sakura started eating, gushing about the incredible taste of tomatoes which was working miracles on her, supplanting her exhaustion. She then adjusted her position, rearranging the pillow to cushion her back against the headboard, as she reached for the table, which Sasuke then wordlessly offered, catching up on her idea. She then patted the space beside her, inviting him to do the same.

Sasuke did as he was told and slowly began biting into the tomato, making sure to turn away from her sight. He did not mean for Sakura to know that he had always been fond of tomatoes since he was a child. His mother would usually cook tomatoes for him whenever he got sick. In fact, his mother had become so skilled and inventive in her cooking that she would usually cook any tomato meal for their family. But most of the time, his father was not there to dine with them because he always cooped himself up in his office. Their routine had all began to change when the company that his father started grew and his father had to enlist the help of his mother and then eventually, his brother.

Sometimes, he let himself remember those happy, warm memories even though the feeling associated with them had become distant, an alien to him.

He took another bite of his tomato rather distractedly when he heard Sakura softly chuckling and saw her looking at him, amused.

"You've got bits on your cheek."

Before he could even bring his hand up to his face, she had already stretched out her hand and began brushing away the offending dirt on his chin with her thumb.

He felt the traitorous urge to fix her hand there, so he turned away his face as quick as possible.

Sakura, sensing his discomfort, immediately withdrew her hand and bit her lip. She then awkwardly resumed eating, picking at her sliced tomatoes with her fork.

"I'll cook you some tomato pasta next time as a way to thank you for this, Sasuke-kun," she said, savoring the delectable juices now squeezing out from the tomatoes between her teeth.

Then he just had to ask.

"What did you just call me?"

Sakura faced him, blushed at the intensity of his gaze, and blushed even harder when she just realized what she had said.

"Oh . . . I . . . I wasn't –" she stuttered, eyes flitting about him, "I could change it if you don't – Ino was –"

"I like it," he said flatly and focused back on his tomato.

Sakura just smiled and thought that that was his way of recognizing the growing familiarity and dare she say, newfound proximity between them.

She then opened the tub and scooped some ice cream into the cup, offering it to Sasuke, noticing that he had just, finally, finished eating his tomato.

"You can have this. I'll eat from the tub."

He looked at the proffered good then at her. "I really don't like ice cream, Sakura."

"Oh, I wish there was a tomato-flavored ice cream then. I'm sure you'd like that," she mocked, moving the cup closer to him.

He finally accepted it, and Sakura placed down the bed table on the floor, leaving only the tub in her hands.

An expression of contentment and delight was written on her face as she started spooning some ice cream into her mouth.

Sasuke, not wanting to touch the ice cream just yet, resorted to watching her instead.

"You looked a little pale earlier," he started.

She set down her spoon. "I was just a bit tired. But I'm okay now. Thanks to you," she replied, gracing him with another smile.

She then drew up her knees to her chest and settled her arms around them.

"By the way, thank you for introducing me to Naruto and Hinata-chan."

"Hn."

"They seem like a happy couple," she smiled to herself.

"It took the Dobe years to confess to that girl," he smirked at the memories of Naruto constantly pestering him and Kakashi to give him courting techniques.

"And they're finally getting married! I'm so happy for them," Sakura whispered, unconsciously letting out the words rolling through her mind.

Sasuke felt a stab of guilt.

"Is that your dream?"

"Hmm?" she asked, still caught up in her daydream about the happy couple.

"To get married?"

Sakura turned her head to him and replied softly, "It's every girl's dream, Sasuke. To marry her prince charming."

Sasuke stayed silent even though he felt the need to apologize for taking away that dream of hers. He felt droplets forming around the cup, and he frowned at the sight of the melted ice cream.

"But I have a different dream now," Sakura began again in a new tone, now leaning back on the pillow propped against the headboard. "I just want to continue being a doctor, see my patients smile, and watch my own child grow up. I may not be a wife but I'll be a mother soon and that's more than enough. So don't worry, Sasuke-kun," she gushed confidingly and smiled chastely at him

She did not want him to mull over what he had done to her in the past. Things were getting better for and between them, and she did not want to start regretting anything.

"Do you have the same dream?" she asked, somewhat hopeful.

He pursed his lips, and suddenly, they found themselves plunged into a halting silence. With each passing second, Sakura became less and less confident that she would get any form of response from him.

But she then heard him setting down his cup of untouched, melted ice cream on the bedside table.

"My father and my mother . . ." he croaked.

She remained silent, but she inched a bit towards him to let him know she was ready and willing to listen to whatever he would want to open to her about.

"Are very . . . different. Mother cared for him deeply," he said, reminiscing the gentle smile of his mom as he continued, "It always shows. But father . . . was more of the – "

"Silent, brooding type. Just like you, Sasuke-kun," she jested.

He smiled faintly. He did not know where this was going, but he found himself sharing with her the few things in his life that actually meant something to him.

He brought a leg up and rested his arm on it, his eyes now fixed on the ceiling. "But they were happy. I've always thought he doesn't give a damn but I think my mother has always known better."

"What about," she hesitated for a moment but went on, "your brother?"

Sasuke looked at her sharply, the wonderful picture of his family now quickly getting shattered by the horrible images of Itachi, of that night, of blood.

Sakura inwardly berated herself for even venturing to ask.

"I'm sorry . . . " she muttered as she reached for his hand.

He got out of the bed, pocketing his hands, his back facing her as he spoke. "Let's go to sleep."

Sakura could only nod, feeling bad that she just ruined what could have been a promising moment. Sasuke volunteered to bring out the table.

"Then I'll just do the washing," she chirped, an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere.

"I know how," he countered none too gently as he walked out with the table in his hands.

"Good night then, Sasuke-kun," she managed to say before the door closed.

Sasuke knew that Sakura did not know anything, that she meant no harm in asking, but holding in his hatred for the brother he once admired was something he could not do, and it was a misfortune that Sakura had to be the one at the receiving end of his outburst. He just hoped she would understand.

...

Sakura woke up from the incessant movement on the bed punctuated by groans. She helped herself up and turned to see Sasuke copiously sweating and thrashing around, rapidly mumbling incoherent utterances. She immediately hovered over him.

"Sasuke-kun, wake up. Shhh," she said, lightly tapping his cheek, " Wake up, Sasuke – " the tapping became more urgent and insistent " – Sasuke, Sasuke!"

Sasuke jerked up from the bed, panting heavily, absentmindedly running his hand over his face, and feeling the cold air slapped his skin.

"Sasu – "

He immediately turned away and flung out the sheet, moving to get up.

"Go back to sleep, Sakura," he ordered icily, not wanting her to ask.

"No. What—"

"I said go back to sleep!"

He threw her a glare to make a point and immediately stalked off. But Sakura reacted on her instinct and went after him, hugging him from behind.

"No. Tell me. Tell me what's happening to you. Please," she implored, her voice trembling with concern and an ache to share his pain.

He felt the torrent of bloodied memories battering into his mind, and he could not move. Sakura felt him shaking, and she released her grip, urging her to face him. But Sasuke moved away and sat back on the bed, his hands now crumpling his face.

"Blood . . .it's . . . it's all . . . blood. Mother . . . Father . . . they're . . . they're gone," he choked into his hands.

She climbed into the bed so that she could sit up and pull him close. She cradled his head against her chest as she rocked him gently, rubbing circles against his back.

"I'm here, okay. I'm here. You're no longer alone, Sasuke-kun. It's not gonna happen again."

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and repeated the gesture as she held him even more tightly. She then felt him shift in her arms, his face tilting to look at her. And suddenly, their noses were touching. She closed her eyes as she let go of all her remaining inhibitions, breaking down her own barriers, waiting and wanting.

But she felt him inching away, prying her arms from him. And she dared not open her eyes.

She heard the faint creak of the bed, the diminishing echo of footsteps, the door shutting, and she wondered why she had crossed the boundary again.

**...**

_**Tbc.**_

(Tbh, I'm having a HUGE problem with the pacing of the story. I'm so used to writing oneshots that I cannot seem to handle time when it comes to longer fics like this, not to mention that this is my first ongoing fic. Apologies for the inconsistency. Reviews/PMs would greatly help!)

_Itadakimasu in Japanese means "Let's eat!"_

_I deem it more fitting to use the Japanese term because it sounds more natural (at least in their context)._

_(1/10/16) Minor edits were made. Thanks so much, fanofthisfiction! _


	8. Distance

**a/n: **quick, preparatory chapter

* * *

_Distance_

Sasuke was going through the documents uncomprehendingly, his thoughts going back to the night before, his mind taunting him with Sakura's hopeful face over and over and the way he crushed that hope, leaving her in limbo again. He was barely aware of the poor state of the piece of paper he was holding when Kakashi tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Don't torture the paper, Sasuke," he reproached halfheartedly, easing the paper out of his grip.

The door then blasted open, revealing a golden-haired boy.

"Teme! Huge problem!"

Sasuke furrowed his brow at him while Kakashi proceeded back to his seat, picking up his favorite reading material.

"The Stock Union meeting is tomorrow!" Naruto panicked.

"Tell us something we don't know," Kakashi quipped.

"We have the documents ready, Dobe. Stop – "

"But I can't go!" Naruto's eyes flickered between Sasuke and Kakashi as he went on to explain. "There have been changes in the wedding plans and we have something to fix tomorrow. I'm sorry I just can't leave Hinata to do it all alone."

If he were the Sasuke before, he would have paid Naruto no heed and insist that Naruto do something about it. Kakashi and Naruto had been preparing for weeks for this business meeting while Sasuke continued to do his job of signing the relevant documents with the occasional sessions of legal counseling from Kakashi. It had been set from the start that Naruto would represent their company because he had been the one monitoring the company's performance anyway and could sell their name better to the willing investors.

But somehow, Sasuke could relate to his partner's predicament and actually felt a pang of guilt for making Naruto do all the work when he had his wedding to prepare for. Sasuke wondered for how long Naruto would be there to shoulder his responsibilities.

"I'll go. I will review the documents later," said Kakashi nonchalantly, still perusing through his magazine.

Naruto shot him an incredulous look and walked over to him. "But Sensei, what about Mei-san? You'd be gone for a week . . . and the baby! Anytime, she could – "

"She'll be fine. She can drive herself," Kakashi replied, shooing the excessively fretting man away.

Suddenly, Kakashi's phone rang. He made sure to flip to the next page before answering it unhurriedly.

Sasuke could only look at the company's legal adviser as he heard his voice rose in alarm, his face pale, his book now a useless heap on the floor.

"What? . . . Can you still hold it in?"

Sasuke and Naruto passed rapid glances at each other, wondering who was on the other line.

"No. Don't drive. I'm coming," Kakashi said with forced calmness, but the little quivers of anxiety marring his tone were unmistakable.

As soon as he hung up, Kakashi rushed past Naruto and flung the door open.

"Sensei, where are you going?"

"To my wife. Can't be late."

And Sasuke just knew what was happening.

"Wa-wait." Realization dawned on Naruto as he called out to the now running Kakashi, "Is the baby – "

"Coming out," Sasuke supplied.

His lips curled into a thin, genuine smile before he faced Naruto.

Naruto looked at his feet. "Sorry, Sasuke. . ."

"No," he shook his head, "It's my duty."

He then gathered the documents littered on his table and began reading them, emptying his mind of any form of distraction.

...

"Sakura-san, Sakura-san . . ."

Sakura snapped out of her musings, blinking away the recurring, intrusive flashes of the night before.

She looked at her plate and gasped in mild horror at the sight of the chunk of meat which had received multiple stabs from her fork. She became even less confident to face Gaara when she had realized that he was almost finished with his meal. She then started shoving food into her mouth, easing it down her throat with the aid of her juice. Even so, she still felt like throwing up.

"It's okay, Sakura-san. You don't need to hurry," Gaara coaxed, his tone overwhelmingly patient.

Sakura just smiled albeit wanly, dabbing away bits on her chin with the napkin. She vaguely remembered what they were talking about. All she knew was that Gaara invited her out to lunch to seek her advice regarding his "career direction and future plans."

"Are you okay, Sakura-san? You seem a little preoccupied."

She tried laughing it off. "Is it that obvious? I'm sorry I guess I'm too easy to read then."

"You don't need to hide it."

Sakura intercepted the anxious look he was giving her.

"But you don't have to tell it to me either if you're not ready. I'm not forcing you," he added consolingly.

"I've just been feeling down . . . and tired – yes, tired, lately," she offered plaintively, twisting the napkin on her lap.

"You can talk to me always, Sakura-san."

"Thank you, Gaara-san."

"I just have a favor to ask."

She took a sip of her juice before nodding eagerly, dragging her chair forward to hear his request.

"Can we drop the honorifics?" he asked, suppressing a smile.

She grinned cheekily. "Oh yes, why don't we, Gaara-kun?"

He nodded dutifully. "Sakura."

"So . . .what were we talking about again?" she asked sheepishly. "As you have accurately noticed, my mind has been drifting elsewhere."

"Shiba-sensei's asking me to transfer back to Suna," he said, his tone that of slow, careful consideration.

Sakura cocked her head, urging him to elaborate. She had heard from him before that Shiba-sensei was the director of the hospital in Suna where he used to work and that Gaara had looked up to the respected man as if he were his own father.

"He's retiring soon and he needs someone to take over the hospital."

She pursed her lips in confusion. "But why does it have to be you?"

He pressed his lips. "His only child refuses to do so and I don't want to add to his disappointment."

"So I'm assuming you've made up your mind then?" she asked pensively, upset over the fact that a close friend of hers would leave soon.

"Not exactly. That's why you're here," he chaffed.

"Why, of course!" she exclaimed, feigning surprise as they fell about laughing.

"But well, Gaara-kun, I believe you just have to do whatever it is that your heart desires. Sounds cliché, I know. But that's what I've been doing." She smiled meekly.

"I'm still thinking about it. He's a precious person to me but I also have my precious people here," he said earnestly.

"You 'd miss me," she joked.

"Yes. Definitely."

It wasn't his answer, but the way he said it that made her pause. It wasn't casual; it was serious and hinting. He was also looking at her intently, and she could only offer a quick smile before focusing on slicing off the remaining meat on her plate.

"Do you want to go visit Suna with me sometime?" he inquired in a new tone, the air of casualness was back.

She perked up at the idea but illegally thought about Sasuke.

"I'd love, too, but then . . . the kids . . ." she finished lamely.

She cared about the kids, her patients, but she knew that she also needed a break. Besides, she wouldn't be gone for too long to not be able to attend to their needs. She was more worried about Sasuke. She didn't want him to think that she'd been deciding on her own when their child's life could be at risk. She also didn't want to give him a reason to think lowly of her – she knew that Sasuke wouldn't understand that she and Gaara were nothing more than friends.

"I understand," he replied, his previous jovial tone now punctured.

"No, no. We'll see how it goes. I'll go with you when I can, okay?" she countered quickly, not wanting to let him down even though she wasn't really sure if she could stay true to her promise.

"I'll hold you to that," he said expectantly. "By the way, Kazuo-sensei will be holding a celebration next week. He says he hasn't been seeing you around so he wants me to give you this invitation."

Sakura took the proffered invitation, reading the gold-inked, engraved letters of Dr. Kazuo and his wife's "50th anniversary."

Although Dr. Kazuo, being the head surgeon of Konoha hospital, was someone she was close with, her mentor in the early months of her practicum in surgery, she still dreaded having to attend the party.

"Will everyone be there?"

None of her colleagues knew about her condition. Initially, only Dr. Tsunade, her ob-gyn, knew about it, but she sooner let Dr. Kazuo in on the secret to allow her to take temporary leave from her duties as a surgeon. If she were to wear a dress, other people would surely know,_ see_ it, and she didn't want to answer a barrage of questions. She was gratifyingly proud of her bump, but it was a feeling she wouldn't want to share with busybodies.

"I think everyone's invited even the nurses but I doubt all of them would show up. Feeling antisocial, aren't we?" Gaara teased interestedly.

She bit the inside of her lip. "No. Just that I can't handle people too well these days .I've been –"

"Stressed, I can see. This is an opportunity to loosen up, then, Sakura." He reached for her hand resting on the table.

"I guess so." She smiled quite hesitantly, feeling his foreign skin against hers.

She fought the urge to squirm under his touch. After all, he was her friend, and he had helped her a lot. But she wasn't used to having such an intimate contact with another man besides Sasuke – the reason why she had been on the rack since last night.

She could barely sleep a wink, constantly worrying about him possibly having fits of nightmare again since he decided to sleep outside their room; she wanted nothing else but to check up on him every minute.

When the morning came, there were no pleasant greetings and shared meals, only a commotion of preparation for the day. Sasuke was already inside the car, waiting, when she had finally finished preparing. As expected, nothing was said during the drive, with the mechanical humming of the air-con serving as Sakura's only companion.

She glanced at him just before she stepped out, but he was resolute not to look at her. She sighed audibly and realized she had to give it time.

Sakura slid her hand out of Gaara's grasp as casually as possible, not wanting to offend him, and looked at her phone, checking for messages or any kind of signal from him.

But still, nothing.

...

No sooner had Sasuke entered the shop than an object came flying towards him. It missed his face fractionally, the object grazing past the tip of his ear. He let out a low growl, narrowing his eyes at the offender.

Ino, whose hands were formerly in an akimbo, swiftly brought one hand to her mouth.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she began, her voice laced with mocking, venomous concern, "It slipped off my hand."

She then went around the counter, staging a desperate, apologetic gesture of rushing to him.

"Did it hurt? But it was just a plastic vase! And it missed you . . ." the corners of her lips twitched ironically, "Oh how lucky you are for having it missed your arrogant, angelic face!" she finished derisively.

Sasuke did not respond, thinking it safer to just shut up when he was aware of where the woman was coming from. He could not really blame her.

Ino then shifted her weight and crossed her arms over her chest, challenging him to speak up.

"What brought you here?"

Sasuke straightened up, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

"I came here to make a request," he said in one breath, making sure it would come out firm and unnegotiable.

Ino crinkled a wry smile. "Oh, so you actually know how to say, _please_? What, are you going to ask me to spare you mercy – "

Sasuke suddenly bowed. "Please take care of Sakura while I'm away."

Ino took a step back, her eyes widening, not expecting the man to be capable of doing such a humbling gesture.

Sensing her confusion, he continued, "I'll be on a business meeting abroad for a week. I need someone to be there for her."

She heaved a sigh, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Sakura is my best friend so you have nothing to worry about."

Sasuke felt great relief washing over him especially since he was almost sure, with her downright hostility towards him, that she would never take requests from him. But he could not be more thankful that Sakura found a very supportive friend.

He drew himself to his full height, reached for his business card inside his suit, and offered it to her.

"Call me right away if anything happens."

She nodded.

Sasuke then turned away, ready to leave.

"Why are you doing this? Is it just because of the baby? Or is it because of your other selfish reasons she doesn't know about? Why can't you just let her go? Why do you want to make her suffer so much? Do you even love her? Do you feel even a bit of care for her?" Ino spat, letting him know that she was incriminating him for causing her best friend misery.

She was met with unbearable counts of silence, however, so she yanked him around.

"If you don't, then stop confusing her with your half-assed feelings, Uchiha!" she barked, gritting her teeth in indignation.

Sasuke just spared her a glance before answering.

"I don't know."

Ino curled her hands into tight fists, preparing to swing a punch at him and destroy that face of his.

"But I can't let her go. Not yet."

He could see her seething at his response, but he was more disappointed at himself for not knowing how to name _this _feeling that had been tearing at him. All he knew was that he always wanted, needed to see Sakura especially whenever she smiled, never wanting her out of his sight. Maybe that was selfish of him, but he had always been that way, and she still stayed through all that. So, he thought, maybe he could just remain selfish if that would mean keeping her.

He waited for her to react, but when she began walking back to the counter, he knew it was time for him to go as well, hoping that the next time he would set foot in this very place, he would have the answers to her questions.

...

Sakura could not almost believe at the sight that greeted her as soon as she stepped out of the hospital. Sasuke's car was parked at the usual spot, and the car window was rolled down, allowing her to see him busily reading the contents of a folder, with his hands propped against the steering wheel. She actually had half a mind to contact Ino or even ask Gaara to give her a ride because she did not think he would show up given that the both of them were still a mess from last night's incident – a miscalculation, an accident. Besides, she didn't want to consider having another silent drive on the way back. But then she guessed that maybe Sasuke was just really intent on doing his part of this whole deal of creating a loving atmosphere for the sake of their child.

She took a deep breath before climbing inside. She then immediately reached for her seatbelt and buckled it around her, thinking about the next thing she could do as an excuse for avoiding his gaze.

"I won't be coming home tonight."

His cold voice rang clear, and she stopped her hands on reflex, focusing on him.

Sasuke flinched his eyes away. He couldn't take seeing the puzzled anxiety in her own eyes. "I'll have to fly to New York for a business meeting," he simply said, holding up the folder.

There was a rushing emptiness filling her inside, and she found it hard to breathe. She clutched at her seatbelt, shrinking into her seat.

"How . . . how long will you be gone?" she asked tremulously, and she hated that she could barely disguise her weakness.

"A week."

She nodded thoughtlessly, entertaining thoughts like Sasuke coming up with a viable excuse to avoid her, Sasuke choosing to distance himself yet again because of her excessive initiative, Sasuke walking away for good. "Take care."

He regarded her tentatively. "Will you be fine?"

"Of course!" she breathed out a laugh, as if his leaving was nothing.

Sasuke took her word for it and started the car. The air around them was taut with expectancy. Sasuke was half expecting her to utter anything, to stop him perhaps and make him stay. Sakura, on the other hand, was bracing herself, waiting for his further allusions to an impending farewell. But there were no words exchanged, only passing glances that never quite caught each other.

Sakura got out of the car as soon as they stopped in front of their house

"Will you still be going inside?"

"No," he said, his answer echoing dismally.

"Then, I'm going in."

She started to walk off.

"Sakura."

"Yes?" she responded quite indulgently.

Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment, already regretting what he had to say. "Please forget about what happened last night."

Sakura wanted to protest but realized that she didn't have the right to. She forced down the lump in her throat before answering.

"Sure," she said, her voice cracked as she painted a smile.

Sasuke drove off while she remained there standing, staring off listlessly at his car now an impossible distance away, and she couldn't help feeling that no matter how they tried, perhaps all their relationship could ever amount to was this – a bleak cycle of waiting and chasing.

**...**

_**Tbc.**_

_(Thank you so much to all those who have been constantly supporting this fic. I can't tell when I can post the next chapter, but I promise that as long as I live, I'll give you updates.)_

_(Thanks for the tip Mars! I'll make sure to try doing that.)_


	9. Newsflash

**a/n:** _You can thank this particular guest who left a review that has alarmed me considerably – NO I'M NOT YET PLANNING TO DROP ANY OF MY ONGOING STORIES_. I'm tempted to do so, given my current circumstances, but I can't find it in myself to betray anyone just yet. I'm just thinking about a lot of things right now and it's hard to move. But I'm still hoping for rosier days.

So yes, I prepared this chapter just to let you know that I'm still alive and thankfully, writing. I just REALLY need to find some point of stability for now and fix myself there. I can't be a withering bamboo all the time.

Also, thank you so much for all the support!

* * *

_Newsflash_

"No, Ino. I just can't do this," Sakura threw her hands up, dropping another dress onto a growing pile of colored and glittery fabrics and stalked off the room to get herself a glass of water, pacifying her jittery nerves.

"But Sak! You haven't tried on all of them yet," Ino answered hastily, following her out.

Sakura turned to her, clearly disinclined, but Ino flourished her hand as if waving off her best friend's expression.

"No matter, we've got a large fashion arsenal here. You've yet to try that red bubble dress, that sexy slip one, or that black maxi – I'm pretty sure you'll look effortlessly beautiful in it – or do you want to go all lacy?" Ino went on, checking off every item on her fingers.

Still, Sakura didn't look convinced.

"Come on, Sak! We didn't shop for nothing!" Ino pouted.

"You did the shopping," Sakura deadpanned.

"Oh, but you couldn't pass this up, you know. It's time to show your long hidden glam to the folks and your date -

"I don't have a date," the pinkette drawled.

" – that red-haired guy is surely itching to see you! He's got the hots for you. I'm just sure of it!"

Sakura just shook her head.

"Okay, cool down, Sak. I'm sure one of these is a perfect match for you. There're like ten more you still haven't tried on."

Ino went back to the dressing room as Sakura got herself a plump ball of tomato.

Honestly, she didn't know which was worse – living with Sasuke or living with her best friend. Things were actually a flurry of confusion. That night when Sasuke left for his business trip, she already found her best friend making herself comfortable in their house, cooking up things for her.

"_Ino? Wha—Why are you here?"_

"_Is it illegal for me now to pay you a visit?"_

"_No. I mean, you could've called me and I would've gone to your shop or anywhere else?"_

"_Whatever. I'm taking care of you."_

"_But-"_

"_Clearly, he's not here."_

_Sakura cocked her head in bewilderment_.

"_How did you know?"_

"_Best friend's instinct. Besides, I just saw him dropping you off without even so much a wave of goodbye, I assume?"_

_Sakura quieted at this._

"_Bah. Of course I'm kidding, Forehead. Cheer up and help me whip up this recipe. We used to do this you know."_

_Sakura just smiled, remembering their college days when they were sharing an apartment, and they always had this hangout day which they would devote to shopping together, buying groceries, and trying out different recipes. It wasn't decided who was the better cook, but they were able to eat all their dishes just fine so they left it at that._

_Over dinner, Sakura told Ino about Sasuke's business trip overseas, and Ino immediately volunteered to stay with her while he was gone. It was rather quick, almost premeditated, she thought, but she guessed it was really Ino's instinct that would always inform her best friend about her plight._

_That night, she stayed in Sasuke's room, memories of her last confrontation with him taking on a cadence until she realized with a blinding clarity that her foolish feelings for him were never letting up. She had an uneven sleep, too spent to prepare for another long day ahead, when she heard a knock and through the door came Ino's voice telling her that breakfast was ready. Ino was not an early riser, and it showed when Sakura opened the door to see her eyes still weak with sleep. Ino also drove her to work, and she couldn't be more thankful to her lifesaver. _

_That day would've been fine if not for Gaara mentioning about the invitation again right at the exact moment that Ino emerged from out of nowhere, reasoning she was to pick her up from work. Of course, her ever so sharp best friend picked up on their conversation, and Sakura swore she could've pushed Ino to be her substitute with those sparkling baby blue eyes she had when she heard about the party. It was needless for Ino to ask if Gaara would be there, but she did anyway and of course, he gave a positive answer, which was now the source of Ino's fantasizing about his "thing" for her._

_Ino then made it a point to drive her to and from the hospital, and every other day, she would drag Sakura along to every shop they passed by, looking for and buying random dresses – "It's on me," Ino would insist – despite Sakura's ceaseless qualms about her condition._

_While Sakura was reluctant to go shopping, she recognized her friend's efforts to put her into humor and take her mind off things, off Sasuke. When he told her to forget about whatever it was that almost happened, she decided it was the final nail – she had to seal it off. She wouldn't forget their happy days, their "friendship," and she wouldn't run away because her dream for her child to have a complete family unlike her outweighed her pain (and she thought her mother must have felt this way for her father), but she would forget about the possibilities._

"Have you calmed down yet?" Sakura was pulled out of her reverie.

"Ino . . . you know that I would really go if I could, right?"

"But why couldn't you?"

Sakura's eyes shifted down to her stomach.

"Because of your bump? Sakura! You're ashamed of your bump?"

"Of course not! But it's just that . . ."

Ino looked at her crossly, her arms propped on her hips. "You should be damn proud, Sakura. Hell, you were proudly carrying your baby for four notoriously hard months singlehandedly and – "

"Exactly, Ino," she whispered, her voice shaking.

"Exactly, what?"

Sakura then burst into sobs. "I'm proud! Oh god, I want to show them that I have this beautiful thing growing inside of me, that I'll be a mother soon. But just . . . I don't want to take questions, I don't want them to know, I can't – "

"Questions like what, Sak? Know what?"

Sakura tried to stabilize her emotions, hastily wiping off the streaming tears. "Well, I'm not really in a normal arrangement. Even Gaara-kun doesn't know. What do I say if they ask who is . . . who's the father. I just, I just want to be able to say that – "

"You're with someone . . ."

"That it wasn't an accident. It was never an accident for me. I want this. Have always. But – "

Ino then put her arms around her, shushing her. "You're overthinking, Forehead. It's not like you're in a peculiar situation. A lot of women go through that and it's not your fault, not their fault, at least not entirely, but you see Sak, women like you are epitome of courage, you know that? You choose to live. You choose to keep your baby even when the circumstances are against you. You should be proud. You're a strong, independent woman with a baby, and not having a man in your life doesn't make you any less."

Sakura chuckled tearfully.

"So, you're ditching that mystery boy then?"

Ino gasped, feigning a shocked expression.

" 'Course not! Don't change the topic, you sly woman."

"Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much, Pig."

Ino touched away the remaining tears on her friend's face.

"Now, shall we resume the fitting session? You still need to have your beauty rest."

"Yes. I still have to drop by my shift tomorrow."

"You're not taking a day off? I'm closing my shop for you!"

Sakura plopped a hand on her hair, a ghost of a smile passing her face when she remembered the kids waiting for her. "No. I'll have to check in on my patients. I promise it'll be quick. Pick me up at lunch and let's go grab some salads."

"Fine. I'll pick you up after I tend to my flowers."

"You're such a mother to your flowers."

"Oh please. They're my babies!"

"Have you introduced them to their soon-to-be father yet?"

"I will. Soon." Ino winked before whipping out her vibrating phone and furiously typing on it.

Sakura couldn't decipher the mixture of expressions flitting across Ino's face. Her friend seemed to be deciding on whether to be angry or amused.

She decided to tease by trying to sneak a peek into the screen, but Ino's reaction was immediate, flipping her phone shut in a snap.

Sakura smiled at her knowingly. "Wow, pretty intense conversation you have there!"

Ino laughed rather awkwardly. "Oh you wouldn't know, Sak!"

"Fine. I shall leave you to your private world then," Sakura whistled before ambling off into the room.

...

Her shift in the hospital was pretty quick. There were no new admitted patients, so she only did a few rounds on some children. She would have loved to stay longer with them and have some chit-chat, but there was a night event to prepare for. She also met a mom who recently had given birth to a wonderful, healthy girl, and Sakura prescribed her vitamins for the baby. She was preparing to go when a knock and a creak alerted her of the presence of Dr. Kazuo.

"Sakura . . ." he greeted amicably.

He might look like a typical aged man with his black hair receding into white, the convolutions on his skin, and his wizened face, but he was a man of medical virtuoso, and he would always be Sakura's superior and mentor.

"Sensei," she greeted back politely.

"Can I expect to see you there later?"

She paused for a bit before answering brightly. "Of course, I'll be there!"

"I'm glad. Gaara was talking about how you were hesitant at first. Any problem? We haven't talked in a while."

"No. Everything's fine, Sensei."

He nodded sagely. "Sakura, you've been my student and you're almost like a daughter to me. You know you can always talk to me."

"Am I really that readable? Even Gaara was telling me the same thing!" she answered jokingly.

Dr. Kazuo frowned. "It's not healthy for you to be always stressed. I let you take some time off surgical work so that you can have ample amount of rest for your baby."

She swiped her hand in the air, as if waving off her mentor's worry. "I know, Sensei. I guess . . . I'm just adjusting. I'm on my fourth month, anyway."

She saw him hesitate. "Are you going alone to the party?"

She anticipated the question yet she still couldn't bring herself to give a proper answer. While her mentor knew about her condition, he didn't know anything about the context, and she'd rather have it stay that way.

"Why don't you ask Gaara to accompany you—"

She shook her head briskly. By the way he suggested it, she figured that her superior might've sharply read her situation. However, she didn't want to further complicate things and be misunderstood. She couldn't drag Gaara into this. "No need. My best friend will be driving me there and picking me up."

"Okay, Sakura. If you need anything, you can always come and see me. If you need some pregnancy advice, my wife is just as friendly. She'd be pleased to talk to you."

She broke out into an appreciative smile. "Thank you so much, Sensei."

She was beyond thankful that Dr. Kazuo didn't choose to put her on a hot seat and ask further into her life. As she headed to walk out of the hospital, an incredible sense of peace settled within her. She now felt at peace and even started to look forward to the party. From a distance, she could see Ino from her car, waving enthusiastically at her. She then heard footsteps beside her.

"Shall I pick you up later?"

She gave Gaara a careful, friendly smile. "No. I'll be fine. I have my chaperone," she said, pointing towards Ino who also waved eagerly at him. She then quickly dropped a few lines of thanks before moving along.

Once inside the car, Ino started teasing her about it.

"Did he ask you to be his muse?"

Sakura mocked a dejected sigh. "Yes, but sadly I had to turn him down. I said I'm having you as my escort."

They were sharing bouts of laughter when Ino's phone rang loudly. Sakura had seen her look at the screen before she tossed it over to the backseat.

Sakura looked at her with wide eyes. "Not gonna pick that up?"

"Nope. Let him suffer," she replied, with a determined, triumphant look.

Sakura pursed her lips. "Hmmm. Just your kind of war."

Ino just grinned at her. "Oh honey, I assure you it's one bloody war."

...

"Ino, I really don't think I can do this," she said before turning away from her hand mirror, sighing heavily for the umpteenth time.

"That is such an ancient line, Forehead! Look at yourself. Here you are gorgeously fitted into that fabulous dress!"

"Just that . . ."

"Sak, it's okay. You're okay. I'm proud of you. Just remember that, alright?"

"Okay, Ma'am. Though I think," she gestured towards Ino's phone, "you should really answer that one. It's been ringing for hours!"

"Nah. Don't worry about me. Come on. Stop hiding and sashay your way into that red hottie's heart! "

Sakura just rolled her eyes at this. They then kissed each other on the cheek before she finally stepped out of the car, expelling one last nervous sigh.

She entered the hall donned in a pine green silk tulle frock with chiffon off-the-shoulder sleeves and a deep v-neckline, accessorized with a black velvet belt that emphasized her growing bump. Ino did her makeup, accentuating her eyes by making it what she called 'smokey.' Her eyeshadow was of the red-brown tone which complemented her rose-colored lips. Her hair was styled up in a regal bun, and while she didn't enjoy wearing jewelry, Ino insisted that she wear a pair of teardrop jade earrings and a silver beaded bracelet.

She sought to find familiar faces as she continued to move through the space. Somehow, she started to feel less anxious. She could sense amused glances being sent her way, but it wasn't like she was being judged from head to toe as what she had feared.

"Sakura."

Gaara came into view. Not having been prepared for his sudden appearance, she instinctively placed her hand on her bump and looked away.

"I have noticed. You don't have to hide it. I just don't want you to feel pressured to say anything."

He smiled, and Sakura thanked him copiously. He was smartly dressed in a black wool suit, and Sakura must admit that he looked different from usual.

"So, what sort of cravings do you have? I'll find them for you," he offered, his eyes never leaving her face.

She chuckled in response. "No, it's okay. I don't wanna show you my huge appetite!"

What she really wanted was nothing but a bowl of salad. It started triggering afflictive memories, and she wondered why she could hardly keep her thoughts about a certain person when she was supposed to be here to relax.

"I'm just gonna get a drink then. Since wine is not an option, what juice would you like?"

"Hmm. Strawberry juice is a fave."

He nodded. "Got it."

But before Gaara could even move away, they were suddenly cornered by a circle of colleagues. Some faces were familiar to her even though she had only shared minimal conversations with them, mostly about their work.

"Sakura-san! Oh my, we didn't know! Congratulations!" Sakura blinked before absentmindedly letting the other female take her hand and shake it.

"Gaara-san, you never told us!

"We never noticed anything!"

"When are you due?"

Sakura could only titter, words crowding behind her lips as she tried to parry their relentless questions. "No, I'm – we're not . . ."

"Sorry, I'm late."

Her head snapped in the direction of that voice she was well acquainted with, only to see him emerging, taking confident strides towards her. But before she could react, Sasuke had already slid a kiss on the side of her head, purposefully securing his arm around her waist.

"Good evening, I'm Uchiha Sasuke," he said grandly, bowing to the guests crowding around them.

Someone squealed. "Uchiha! As in the famous . . ."

He just nodded.

"Sorry, Sakura-san, I thought you and Gaara-san . . ."

Gaara then dutifully interrupted. "No. We're good friends."

Sakura didn't know what to say as she stayed rooted in her place. She wanted to jerk out of his embrace, but in his proximity, she realized that she had missed him quite dreadfully.

Another woman addressed Sakura. "You're lucky, Sakura. You should've told us! How long have – "

"We've been together for a year," Sasuke supplied, startling Sakura.

"Any plans on marriage yet?"

Sakura finally found her voice to speak. "Oh, that's really not – "

"Yes, probably next year."

In her confusion, she could only feel nothing but his grip tightening, pressing her further to him.

**...**

_**Tbc.**_

_(If you want to see Sakura's dress for real, you can look up what Kate Middleton wore during a public appearance in New York. They call the dress a Jenny Packham gown. I'm not a fashion person so I had to rely on the given description; I just changed the color of the dress. I've also looked up the suitable makeup for green eyes._

_There'll be more SasuSaku action in the next chapter!)_


	10. Overture

**a/n:** Funny how I've revised my outline for this story for four times now and when I began writing this chapter, I just needed to veer away from the current outline, which means I need to come up with a newer one. The whole process is making the update considerably slow. I've become more and more terrified I'd disappoint you all.

* * *

_Overture_

Without her company, his life was nothing but mechanical.

His plane had landed. He had checked into the hotel peacefully. He was alone. Again.

He immediately launched himself into the heaps of works that he should've been attending to since the tragedy that befell his parents. But the Dobe and Kakashi were quick to provide a much-needed rescue. He went over the presentation, analyzing the statistics that he'd have to confidently present – in his case, it would be nothing more than simply reporting without much elaboration and lilt in his voice. Although his body had been complaining about some dysrhythmia due to his long flight, he couldn't sleep it off. He needed to be busy.

There was no time for resting lest he dream of the scene again – his silently scathing words and her expression rippled once more with pain as he drove – walked – away from her the second time.

He would have to stay here for five whole days in which the first few days would have to be spent on meaningful negotiations among other business personnel from Asia and Europe. It was during this season that he must be able to find some willing investors for the company. The business conference itself would be formally held on the last day and in which, he knew, he would also have to answer intrusive enquiries about the famous Uchiha tragedy.

Naruto would've loved doing some chilling out before the big day. He would've brought his fiancée with him. But as it turned out, they needed to fix things for the actual wedding.

He looked at his phone, having half a mind to give her a call and let her know that he'd arrived safely but he had quickly perished the thought that she would still care after he had let her down. Again.

It would've been a lot easier if he could engineer his own emotions just like before. It was something he had learned doing after the massacre, but there was Sakura now and the baby, and he'd put himself in a false position if he'd still deny harboring such strange, softer passions.

Admitting such intrusions was hard. But running away from her was harder.

Shrugging off such untimely musings, he made haste to review the company's documents, finding it hard to absorb each piece of detail when he was never really invested in any of it in the first place. Suddenly, an image flashed in his mind.

He recalled that one time that he saw his traitor of a brother signing some documents on his office table. Sasuke was only 16 that time, still in his youth, dismissing any concern for the world as he whiled away his luxurious time however he wished to – going to school on some days, secluding himself in his room, or bumming around with Naruto who had introduced him to his circle of friends but whom Sasuke had already forgotten.

Itachi had always been wise beyond his years. He was only 20 that time, but he had already mastered the workings of the company and the entirety of the business field, of which his parents were always proud. Sasuke would like to admit that he was once jealous of his brother, but he had always been a role model to him.

And, Sasuke thought, as he closed his eyes, to Itachi's credit, he had never treated Sasuke as if he was any less.

"_Sasuke," he greeted with a smile as he motioned him over._

"_Yes, Onii-san?"_

"_Just thought you might want to study this document with me," he said, lips twitching once more into an amused smile._

"_Stop talking nonsense."_

"_I thought so."_

"_Do you really like it, nii-san, being cooped up here most of the time?"_

"_And do you like being cooped up there in your room most of the time?"_

"_That's different."_

"_We all want different things, Sasuke."_

"_So you want this boring job after all?"_

"_I wouldn't say boring. But it's something I need to do."_

_He frowned thoughtfully. "For Kaa-san and Tou-san."_

"_For you as well."_

_He never understood his brother. He was always a mystery to him despite their bond. No, he didn't, wouldn't miss him. But he'd remember that on days that Itachi was less busy, he'd always take him out on tomato and dango shopping. _

Come to think of it, he had not eaten dango for a while.

A mental image of Sakura preparing dango raced across his mind, and he knew his body had reached its limits. He had to seal off the part of his mind betraying his ghostly memories with his brother. A traitor like him was no longer part of his life.

His phone gave a faint beep, and he looked at it to see a message from Naruto. The Dobe sent him a picture of himself posing with Kakashi who was holding a newly born babe in his arms. Sasuke uncharacteristically bit off a laugh. Kakashi looked so un-fatherly with his mask on although Sasuke could trace the outline of the older man's smile through the fabric.

Soon enough, Naruto would become a family man, too. And then Sakura would . . .

He wondered if he would become a good father.

And husband.

_Probably._

...

He was in the middle of negotiating with a woman from a well-established business group and who had been uninvitingly resting her perfectly manicured hand on his arm when his phone gave a vibration. He saw a message from an unknown number with the subject: "EMERGENCY: DON'T IGNORE."

He excused himself curtly, and out of anxious curiosity, he clicked it open.

"_Sak's going to a party on Saturday."_

With the tone of the sender, he had perceived it to be Sakura's best friend. He didn't know what to respond, but more importantly, he wasn't sure why she would label it as an emergency.

"_Go with her."_

No sooner had he sent that message than he followed it up with another one.

"_Please."_

"_YOU'RE REALLY SUCH AN INSENSITIVE JERK, AREN'T YOU?"_

His brows creased in agitated confusion.

"_I don't understand."_

"_She's gonna have to parade her pregnant self without anyone supporting her. No wonder she's been getting anxious about it for the past few days!"_

He continued to stare at the screen blankly, not comprehending what the girl was trying to imply.

"_She'll be fine."_

A couple of minutes passed before he received a reply.

"_Of course. She'll have that red-haired hottie as her date anyway."_

And that was when it dawned on him what it meant. Sakura was to go out on a limbo, and given her compromising situation, it would be no surprise that she would be bothered by the prospect of being the poor target of a thousand of prying questions simply because of the glaring fact that she wasn't sporting any ring on her prized finger.

Sasuke finally decided to call the other line, but Ino never picked up. There were two more days before the meeting, and he almost wanted to fly back to Japan right then and there. But he couldn't let the company suffer especially since it wasn't his efforts that he would be throwing into waste. He also couldn't let Naruto and Kakashi down when they had done so much for him.

He had effectively lost his focus as he tried his best to get a response from Ino. He had resolved to return as soon as he could, but he needed her to be there with Sakura at least until he could be with her himself. There was no need for an outsider to stand in for him.

Despite his troubled state, he had managed to deliver the presentation and earned recognition from some business personalities. He purposefully evaded unnecessary questions about his family, and he was able to close a goodly number of deals before he left the venue, rushing to board his private plane, hoping he could return in time.

He no longer had the time to change his suit because as soon as the plane landed and he got into his car, he received one last text from the harbinger of war.

"_The Century Pavilion_

_They look dazzling together!"_

...

He almost slammed the door of his car when he got out. He saw Ino smirking satisfactorily at him by the entrance as she tossed him a stalk of dark red carnation.

"It's good for pregnant women."

He kept the flower in the inner pocket of his suit.

"Take care of my best friend."

He didn't miss a beat.

"I will."

And when he entered the hall and saw her with another man amidst the crowd of people, he knew he had to put an end to his strenuous denial.

Sakura had torn down the walls, vaulted over the rough edges despite everything, and made her way to him in a yearning distress. They had had a long-drawn relationship between the lines, and as he walked up to her posthaste, he knew it was his turn to venture a rightful step, finally, towards her.

_**...**_

_**Tbc.**_

(Just a prelude to the upcoming SasuSaku chapter.

I'd have to give credits to _fanofthisfiction_ for telling me about Itachi and his love for dango. Also, shout out to my newest writing buddy, _PetitEngineer_!

Tell me what you think and please give me a week for the next chapter.)


	11. Between the Lines

**a/n:** You can read this with this *background music*: Sara Bareilles' _Gravity_ (Instrumental version of MizNessaKeys) on Youtube.

I just realized that this is the perfect song for this whole story, so I put up a couple of lines from it as this fic's summary - and even the lines below. It's too fitting!

* * *

_Between the Lines_

_._

_._

_"I don't wanna fall another moment_

_into your gravity"_

_._

_._

He was staking his claim on her, and he hoped it would be as clear as the day for Sakura's colleague who seemed to be looking at him cautiously.

Sasuke tightened his hold around her waist, loving her scent and the soft glide of her hair against his skin when he had snuck in a kiss against her forehead.

He knew he had made it home.

But he also knew that Sakura was still in a haze of perplexed wariness about his actions. He could feel her body stiff, closing up on him, and he regretted having committed the capital mistake of telling her to forget about everything.

A couple of forced smiles later, the crowd had finally dispersed. His sudden announcement had seemed to successfully satiate their irrelevant fantasies about other people's lives. _That _Gaara had also thankfully gone away.

Sakura briefly closed her eyes before drawing a sharp intake of breath. She hastily moved away from his reach and shot him a distraught look.

"You're not supposed to be here . . . Sasuke."

He noted with a sinking feeling that she had dropped the _–kun_. They were back to square one.

Her voice was trite and tired, and he knew it was his doing. He chose to not respond as he met those inquiring eyes.

Disappointed that he didn't seem to be willing to carry on this conversation, she persisted.

"And you weren't supposed to say things you didn't mean. You told me to forget about – "

"Oh, Sakura!" chimed in a jovial, raspy voice.

She twirled to see her mentor with his wife. The sight of Mrs. Kazuo who looked stylishly timeless in her midnight blue scoop neck knee-length chiffon dress awed Sakura too much she wished she'd stay as elegant as the older lady when she aged.

She then immediately gave a radiant smile. "Kazuo-san, congratulations on your golden anniversary!"

The older lady glanced at her bump before smiling appreciatively at her. She pitched forward, and Sakura did the same, brushing cheeks with her.

"And congratulations on your pregnancy as well. You look gorgeous, darling," she said, positively amused as she tenderly framed Sakura's face in her hands.

As expected, her eyes then flitted to Sasuke. "And this is . . . ?"

Sasuke boxed his shoulders, extending his arm once more to put around Sakura's shoulder.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

Sakura could only give a tight-lipped smile as she fidgeted beneath his touch.

The older man then stepped forward, and Sasuke took his proffered hand, shaking it firmly.

"I'm also extending my warmest congratulations to the both of you. I've known for quite some time now about my student's condition but I never got to meet you."

Dr. Kazuo's wife touched the base of her throat in a delighted manner as her eyes flickered between Sakura and Sasuke. "You are such a lovely couple! Don't worry. Soon, it'll be your turn to celebrate your golden anniversary."

Sakura could no longer bite back her protest, so she dared to speak up. But Sasuke always had a way of stopping her.

"Yes. We're looking forward to it. We're getting married next year," Sasuke offered before looking warmly at Sakura who pointedly averted her eyes.

A fresh wave of congratulatory remarks was sent their way before the older couple finally excused themselves to entertain their other guests.

Sakura, once more, walked out of his embrace.

She looked at him with unwonted melancholy.

"Sasuke, why are you here?"

He wanted to tell her. But not in this manner. Instead, he held out the carnation Ino had given him, hoping to appease her.

Sakura was startled by this and mindlessly lifted it to her nose before tucking it inside her clutch bag. After a while, Sasuke responded.

"I . . . don't know."

She gauged his expression, and when she realized he wouldn't give a proper answer, she let loose a feeble sigh.

"You don't know?" she asked even though it sounded more like a statement.

She cast him a crestfallen look before she turned, more than ready to run off elsewhere, somewhere he couldn't follow and muddle her life again.

The lights then dimmed, and a spotlight now illuminated the center space. A slow, velvety music began to play in the background, and in a minute, they were trapped in the commotion of couples embracing each other.

Sakura panicked, looking for a way out when she felt him enclosing her hand in his, spinning her around.

"Dance with me," he said with all the intent of not ending it.

It was a suspenseful moment for her as she allowed him to lift her fingers to his lips. But as soon as she felt those tendrils of traitorous affection for him, she was cruelly reminded of that night he had made himself clear.

He'd never want her the way she wanted him.

She drew her hand back sharply. "Sasuke, please . . . just leave me alone."

He understood her hesitation. After all, he had forced her into that situation.

He walked slowly towards her, and he could see her eyes nervously flickering about his face.

"Sasuke," she exasperated, "You don't have to go this far to pretend – "

"I'm not pretending. Dance with me, Sakura."

She finally stopped pacing away, and he was prepared to erase the scanty distance between them. He brushed his knuckles against the side of her face before gently snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her close.

He almost smirked at her surprised gasp. He then went for her hand once more, interlacing his fingers with hers.

Sakura's mind was going blank. She was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, and she couldn't distinguish between what was real and not anymore.

In a gesture of desperation, she placed her other hand on his chest in an attempt to still his actions, and for the first time, be the one to push him away.

"What are you doing, Sasuke?" she asked crossly though her tone was softened by a deep resignation to his sudden unusual behavior.

Sasuke tentatively let go of her waist to slide her stubborn hand up his shoulder before closing the distance between them once more.

"Dancing," he remarked simply.

"But I haven't done this before!"

Her eyes widened at her unexpected outburst. She quickly found interest in her feet, ashamed by her out-of-the-blue confession.

He then let out a faint roll of laughter, and it surprised him as much as it did her. But sharing such moment with her felt so incredibly natural. She consciously gazed back at him.

"Aa. I haven't either," he said affably, smiling at her.

He then started to move side to side, taking her with him.

"Uhm . . . so how do we do this . . ." she whispered shyly.

"Trust me, Sakura," he whispered back, squeezing her hand.

With a final sigh, she let him take the lead. She had a lot of things to talk to him about so instead of enjoying the soothing lullaby of the music and parleying with silence, she decided she'd get it across to him outright.

"You're confusing me too much, Sasuke."

Sasuke chose to remain silent, so she continued.

"You can't keep doing this. You asked me to forget . . . don't you think you're being a bit too unfair?" she let out a wry laugh. "And I suppose you still don't know, do you?"

What he did instead was to hold her closer so that he was already engulfing her in a full embrace.

"Stay," he implored, accommodating more of her lithe body, his nose snuggling into her hair.

She felt like they had had this conversation before, and she had known very well the outcome. She shook her head weakly.

"You're always pushing me away . . ." she breathed before feeling the impending waterworks.

She pulled away from him, scooting back as far as she could.

"Don't make this any harder for me, Sasuke. Just keep . . . pushing me away because at least then I'll know where I stand."

She swiftly turned about and passed through the midst of the couples in motion until she was able to come out of the hall successfully. She quickly fumbled for her phone inside her clutch bag, haphazardly dialing her best friend's number.

"She won't come."

Sakura instinctively wheeled around, and Sasuke was glad that he hadn't lost her.

"She's the one who told me you're here," he supplied as he strode towards her.

Sakura could simply stare at him bafflingly.

"I'll be taking care of you from now on."

She was about to react when she felt a twitchy, quickening movement inside her stomach. She gasped at the sudden sensation, foreign yet warming.

Sasuke was at her side immediately.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" he asked breathlessly.

His pale, panic-stricken face came into view, and it somehow calmed her. She shook her head, pressing a hand to her belly.

"I think . . . the baby kicked," she said, evidence of a smile twinkling at the corners of her lips.

A breath of hearty relief escaped him, and seeing her cheer up for a moment had him feeling an overpowering impulse to hold her again . . . and kiss her.

Sakura, oblivious to his overwhelming emotions, just beamed down fondly at her bump, splaying her fingers over it and stroking it, imagining that it was her baby's hair that she was ruffling.

Sasuke then placed his hand atop hers and dropped to his knees, carefully leaning against her bump.

"What are – "

She felt another jerk, and he started rubbing circular motions on her bump with his free hand.

"Aa. I felt that, too."

When he looked up at her, she was blushing prettily, and the sight throttled him so much that in the next second, he was already cupping her cheeks, rapidly diminishing the distance between them when he felt her squirm away before slapping him.

The piercing sound rumbled through the expanse of silence. Sakura looked at him, heaving, words crowding behind her lips as she realized what he was about to do and what she had done instead.

Sasuke would never blame her. He simply looked back at her, instantly regretting once more that the life of her eyes was now discolored by the tears he knew she was trying to hold back, and it was – everything – had been his doing.

"I'm sorry," he uttered woefully.

Sakura shook her head briskly. She wanted to apologize for having to resort to such an action, but she felt an adamant sense of vindication for what she had done. _He couldn't just mess her up every time and get off scot-free._

But fate this time had been rather benevolent to the both of them because the mounting tension was cast away by an unexpected yet timely presence.

"Sakura."

She turned around to see Gaara looking at her with concern heavily etched on his face.

"Gaara-kun," she almost whimpered, poised to run to him. She wanted to go to her friend and ask him to take her away, but she thought it wouldn't be right to drag him into the troubling mess she was in.

"Are you okay?"

Gaara made a step towards where she was, but Sasuke's backside suddenly blocked her view.

"I'm taking her home," he said icily, unfazed by the firm look the other man was giving him.

He was willing to fix what he had broken, and he wouldn't let anyone menace his plans to patch things up with the woman he had cruelly wronged.

Sakura wanted to protest. She didn't think it'd be possible for her to spend any more harrowing minutes with Sasuke.

"Sasu – "

"I understand," the other man uttered before giving a final nod. "I'll see you soon, Sakura."

She wasn't even given the chance to respond as Sasuke already caught her wrist, pulling her along as he made his way to his parked car.

She could only stumble after him, too powerless to pull away from his grip.

"Sasuke, you're not obligated to – "

"It's my duty," he declared judiciously before facing her, "After all, we're getting married soon."

It was the third time she had heard him speak about their marriage, but the effect on her this time was unrelentingly strongerthat before she knew it, Sasuke had already opened the door to her side of the car, and she could only go in.

A strangling silence settled around them on the drive home, and she needed to break it. Nothing unusual.

"Can I have my car back?" she began.

Sasuke only spared her a glance. "You have no need for it. I will still be – "

"Like I said, Sasuke, it's not your duty to – "

"It is. As your husband-to-be."

She then threw up her hands in exasperation.

"What do you mean anyway? Why are you suddenly bringing up this topic? Marriage? Are you even half-serious ab – "

The car skidded to a halt.

Sasuke looked at her resolutely. "I am. I intend to marry you."

A bubble of hope was surging up inside her even though it was illegal. So she had to ask.

"Why, Sasuke?"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. His feelings were threatening to spill, but he didn't want it to be expressed this way. He still had a lot to atone for, and he was well aware that he had been confusing her. He would take it slow this time. He would prove it to her through his actions so that she wouldn't even think of asking.

Words would never amount to what he had _all along_ been feeling for her.

He gave the safest answer he could.

"It's for the child."

Sakura tore her glance away, her head slumping against the headrest as she blinked back the tears once more. _Of course, she thought. Nothing more. Nothing less._

"But you don't have to go through such lengths. We're fine as it is," she said dispassionately.

He could tell that this whole conversation was tiring her out, but he would insist.

"No. We're not."

"Please don't think like you're stuck with me because of the child. You can always fall in love and settle down with someone else . . ." she said, still turned away from him.

At this point, she couldn't care less anymore about his real intentions. She just wanted to get home fast and rest, pretend this night never happened, that she hadn't hoped again only to be denied once more.

Sasuke grimaced. "That won't happen."

He wished for her to look back at him. He needed her to see that his sincerity was genuine this time. He planned to settle down but never with someone else.

Sakura just sneered, plopping a hand through her hair as she angled her head back towards him.

"Now I feel guilty. You'll be stuck with me forever and be forced to have a life you never wished to have."

Sasuke opened his mouth to rebut what she said. _He'd never have regrets._

"Sasuke. Please just give me back my keys. You've done your fair share of taking care of this child in my womb and now it's my turn to take care of myself. Don't worry. I'm as healthy as I can be and I'm not as careless as you think. I promise you I won't let anything to happen to this child."

"That's not – "

"I'm tired. Let's just go home, shall we?" she finished as she forced out a smile.

He wanted her to understand, but maybe he also had to give her time to adjust. He wouldn't rush her. He wouldn't mess up this time.

He resumed driving and thought of an interesting topic that she might want to engage in.

"I was able to close a number of deals with some investors," he volunteered.

Sakura looked at him quizzically, not knowing how to respond, belatedly realizing that he was still in his business suit. She then noted his rather strained appearance and mused that he might've been too busy fixing things for his company.

"That's good then," she muttered after a while, expressing her silent support for him despite herself.

From the front mirror that was well directed to her side, he could see her now looking out through the car window, and she knew she wouldn't take him up on his offer of starting a conversation. But he was satisfied for now.

When they arrived home, there were no words needed. Sasuke just knew she'd sleep in her room and would never again share a bed with him. She was already halfway to her room when he called out.

"Good night, Sakura."

Sakura stopped in her tracks but didn't look back anymore, only giving a faint nod.

Distressed by her unresponsiveness, he tried once more.

"I'll be leaving your keys on the table."

"Thank you."

But it wasn't enough for him.

"I'll be . . . frying some eggs for breakfast."

She half-turned this time, shaking her head despite the slight curve of her lips.

"No need, Sasuke. I'm going in."

"You looked beautiful tonight, Sakura," he said with a little more stress. _You've always been. Please look at me._

His words echoed enticingly in her ears, but she immediately refused to feel anything about his statement and walked on, head held up high until she was able to enter the comforts of her room.

He had no choice but to also proceed to his room, and it was so achingly different from when she was still there. But as he lied down in his bed they once shared, he noticed that her scent still hung about in the room, and it calmed him considerably.

Her seeming unresponsiveness was starting to worry him, and he could only hope their relationship would progress in the days to come.

Soon enough, he'd tell her he was ready to be a father to their child and to be the husband she had always deserved.

_**...**_

_**Tbc.**_

Thank you so much for all your support! I may not have been sending you personal thank-you messages but please know how you are all brightening up my every day. To be perfectly honest, I think I've reached this point where I'm more than tempted to abandon this romantic shell of mine. I've been daydreaming of other worlds and of more intricate plotlines which are not necessarily centered on romance. But I guess I'll never be able to walk away from the SasuSaku crazy shipper in me, so let's all see this through, shall we?

I'm starting to have a very tight schedule again, so you won't probably be seeing me for weeks. But if I get enough 'free' time, I'll try working on some oneshots first before updating this one. I promise to give an update before October though. In the meantime, reviews~?


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